Deal or no Deal

[pete 2,499]

Every day as the wife goes into the kitchen to put the spuds on the gas I take the chance to lie long out on the couch and zap the telly on to Deal or no Deal. The fact that it is the only time of the day that I get the chance to hold the remote control is totally irrelevant to this story. As I lay on the couch watching the end of countdown and that beautiful bird that hangs up the numbers or letters I must have suckled into a light sleep. I then heard Noel Edmunds welcoming the east wing and then the west wing. I couldn�t believe it when I saw. Ally McCoist Walter Smith Martin Bain and all of the coaching staff on the west wing. On the east wing were eleven first team Rangers players. Then Noel thanked all the pilgrims for coming. Unbelievable that all the pilgrims had red white and blue scarfs on.

 

Tonightââ?¬â?¢s game will be played by Craig. Craig Whyte! ââ?¬Å?I am so looking forward to this gameââ?¬Â says Noel.

 

ââ?¬Å?Craig what are your Photoââ?¬â?¢s?ââ?¬Â

 

ââ?¬Å?This is Ibrox stadiumââ?¬Â says Craig. Unfortunately it is slowly becoming run down. I remember going there as a boy and it really hurts me to see it in decline. Craig has a tear running down his cheek.

 

Your next photo is of the Rangers team.

 

Yes, while everything looks okay in the photo, the truth is that the team suffers from Murraytitus. That is a disease that explodes short term but burns out in the long term leaving serious illness and possible death.

I hope to win some money tonight so that I can turn the health of the club around.

 

ââ?¬Å?Ladies and Gentlemen this is Craigââ?¬â?¢s gameââ?¬Â

 

Craig opens 5 boxes and then gets a call from the banker. Noel Edmunds imitates the bankers voice. Why does it sound like David Murray? 33 million is your offer Craig, deal or no deal. It is a great offer Mr Banker but remember that tax problem you left us with so it has to be ââ?¬Å?No dealââ?¬Â

 

Nobody ever deals at the first offer and Craig certainly wasn�t going to be the first.

 

As the game continues Craig seems to be hitting all the red numbers. The Banker is making it more and more difficult for Craig to do a deal. Then getting down to the eight box Craig has just hit an all blue round and the tax issues have been swallowed up by the banker.

Craig your offer is 24 million but unfortunately another little tax issue has suddenly appeared making the total offer 27 million pounds. Deal or no deal. Sorry Mr banker it is a great offer but that tax issue is Mr Murray's problem so it has to be ââ?¬Å?No dealââ?¬Â The Pilgrims groan in disbelief.

 

Another three boxes are opened and Craig�s game reaches the five box. Craig thinks he has got an advantage over the banker. He is disappointed as the banker points out there are problems not only with the tax but also with the Albion car park. Craig your offer stays at 24 million pounds but you now have two problems to sort out, is it deal or no deal.

 

"Sorry Mr Banker but you are forcing me to go to the end and open my own box"

 

As the game reaches its climax there are only two boxes left. The 1 penny box and the Jackpot. Will Craig win his fight to give Rangers the life-changing money they so need or will Rangers become a member of the 1 penny club.

 

Noel Edmunds Pulls the seal from Craig Whyte�s box. He delays opening the box to build up the suspense. "Craig, all the pilgrims are praying that this will give you your life changing money that Rangers football club so badly need."

As the lid of the box slowly opens. I hear ââ?¬Å?Dad your dinnerââ?¬â?¢s on the tableââ?¬Â and I wake up just in time to see wee Sammy from Shettleston win 250 quid and a steaming plate of mince and tatties on the table.

 

I may never know what happened to Craig Whyte.

[Frankie 8,146]

Great stuff mate - really enjoyed that.

 

I'm off work today so will publish this tomorrow am.

[pete 2,499]

Thanks Frankie hopefully a deal will be done today and I will l have to rewrite the end.

[Frankie 8,146]

Another #1 article on Newsnow...

 

Great stuff mate!