54andcounting 0 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Anyone got one of those 'silly old jokes' from way back when? Here's mine: Did you hear about the pregnant nun? BENEDICTOR! 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete 2,493 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Guy walked into a bar and hurt his head. It was an iron bar. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluedell 5,298 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says "is this some kind of joke?" 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zappa 0 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) Mick is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past, sees what's going on in the field and stops. He shouts at Mick in the boat 'Its thick twats like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the fuck out of you if I could swim!' Edited March 16, 2012 by Zappa 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zappa 0 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 It's a foggy day and Paddy says to Mick: 'Is that the sun or the moon up there?'. Mick replies: 'Don't ask me - I don't live around here'. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
54andcounting 0 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 A man goes to bed and reaches over to his wife. He starts sliding his hand slowly across her back, shoulders then down her side just glancing her breast then carries on down her side and legs. He slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down her inner thigh. He moves back towards the top and stops. His wife opens her eyes and gasps..., "Why did you stop?" He says.. "Found the remote - Back to sleep fatty" 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GovanAllan 0 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 How do you make a snooker table laugh? Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its baws. Used that for a good few hallowens as a wean got a mixed response as you can imagine. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
juffery 0 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Knock Knock who's there? Interupting cow Interrupting cow wh...MOOOOOOOOOOO 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dutchy Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Tam Cowan told this on the radio today. 2 oranges walk into a bar, the first one turns to the other one and say, "Your round!" ON THE RADIO, I KID YOU NOT! 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
54andcounting 0 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is. The Pope: "I am the pope." St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book." The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth." St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..." The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..." St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss." St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God. St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth." God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus) Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?" God and St. Peter explain the situation. Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow." Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing. Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!" 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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