Pacific Quay Musings?

[Frankie 8,136]

1 hour ago, DMAA said:

I noticed after the final whistle the headline for our game was initially something very negative sounding like “Rangers win as Feyenerood spurn glorious late chance”. So basically Rangers win due to a blunder from

the opposition. By the time I refreshed this was changed to something much more positive but I can’t help but wonder what is going on at PQ. 

They're basically trolling us at every turn, including these kind of comments and the deliberate errors with stats and scores etc.  It's the behaviour of children.

[26th of foot 5,825]

Bully for DrStu'.

 

This morning was a surprise, soft autumnal rain was falling on the hills of the Dordogne. It couldn't last, by afternoon the staccato beat of hard pitter-patter crackled the leaves. The Cafe Tabac had taken in it's tables and chairs, arm held bundles of baguettes from the Boulangerie were no longer pinned by brown paper, plastic bags were necessary, and flip-flops, shorts, and t-shirts confined to the back of the wardrobe until next May. A realisation that summer had drawn a last breath. Not for the truffle pigs, sniffing around ever-green oak trees is just beginning. Last year, a truffle sold in St Astier for £2,500. Those autumnal rains heighten expectations.

 

A week past on Saturday, I heard BBC Radio Scotland whilst traveling to Ibrox for the Livi' game. PQ's finest snorter, DrStu' was in a state of excitement, his nose twitching in anticipation of black fungi. The two unsuspecting truffles were Kirsty Wark and Amy McDonald, guests on Off the Ball. The Scots songstress from Bishopbriggs has enjoyed a long term relationship with Scottish professional footballer, Richard Foster. He is unique in the number of occasions he has enjoyed double spells at clubs ie Aberdeen, Rangers, Ross County, ... etc. Recently, he was involved in a spat with Saints boss, Tommy Wright, which saw him return to Dingwall.

 

DrStu' had his nose in the air throughout, I suspect Amy had been booked whilst hubby was still resident at McDairmid Park? There was a pungent opening, "do you want the story you have been spoon fed, or would you rather hear the real deal"? DrStu' stuck his nose up his arse as Amy told of training ground bust up that culminated in Tommy uttering, "fcuk off", and Richard did just so. Apparently, the club Directors and staff were firmly on Rickie's side. DrStu's nose enjoyed the aroma of his own bahookie, confirmed his preferred prejudice, and he decided to achieve revenge the only way he knows how.

 

Unsuspecting Kirsty Wark was first, her Rangers supporting husband, Producer Alan Clements was ripe for betrayal. DrStu' told of visiting Clements man-cave in the Wark household in days past, Rangers share certificates were framed upon the wall. His punch line arrived, "of course these days, the frames are worth more than the shares". DrStu' roared with laughter, whereas Kirsty offered, "really, I never venture in there". DrStu's affirmation of Rangers are deid was follow followed by Rangers players and fans are thick bastards. Barry Ferguson enters Italian restaurant with retinue and decides to order for all, "we'll have the Pageone", the waiter retorts, "that's page one of the menu". Salivating at the rapier like wit being displayed, he thrusts a coup de grace, "looking at those tattoos on your arm Amy, what does FTP mean"? Both girls chorus, "too far".

 

An insight into an everyday training ground conflict sees DrStu' resort to type. The careful hate is immediately abandoned for the comfort of 'yer deid', yer thick', and 'yer bigots'. DrStu' loves to pig out. Sadly, his Producer allows him such largess.

 

The word is last year's truffle pig has lost it's mojo, being comforted by tons of acorns. Like Sunday's result, there's a new reality. DrStu prefers his nostrils stuck up his own Ronson, He won't smell next year's air dried ham.  

[ranger_syntax 3,751]

1. Collect Dick Gordon's tears in a carafe 

2. Carefully decant the tears into a large syringe

3. Inject the tears directly into my veins

 

 

[Briton 314]

On 20/09/2019 at 07:53, Frankie said:

They're basically trolling us at every turn, including these kind of comments and the deliberate errors with stats and scores etc.  It's the behaviour of children.

I thought they were trolling us with the 'errors' but I noticed yesterday in a BBC report they referred to Hibs' 1-0 draw with Celtic.  

[26th of foot 5,825]

Big Dick's state of Tumescence.

 

France is not far away, but it is far enough to find yourself behind the curve. Last weekend's Scottish football arrived courtesy of an internet link. I hesitated to muse aloud on PQ's workings, I mean I do not have a full picture. It's more a snatch of commentary, pieces of opinion, and it can arrive in burst transmission. However, I rationalised it, it is exactly the service BBC Scotland provides to us, the Rangers support. Their latest strap line, "from the first whistle until the last" means jack-shit to the Bears, we get a different Bozo every other week sitting on the naughty step, watching RTV. PQ prefer to call it, "being right across events at Ibrox? Thus, broadcasting from where the sunshine spends the winter, Radio Qui Donne un Baiser Volant dit ..........................................

 

The Dandies begin their footballing week on the plastic at Livi', Big Dick knows the next three games will go a long way to defining his favourites' season. He is bullish and is encouraged when Aberdeen score an early scrappy goal. Livi' create several opportunities to at least equalise, but squander everyone. Injury time sees a penalty award to the Dons No questions, Cosgrove scythed down, get's up, and dispatches the spot kick. A triumphalist Big Dick echoes Derek's post match comments, "Aberdeen are finding new ways to win". Big Dick is standing free, he is proud and confident, swollen with pride. No demand to view the Spaghettiad happenings on Sportscene.

 

The next day, Rangers are visitors to McDairmid Park, and Big Dick's rush of blood has gone to his head. Inspired by a goalless first half, Big Dick voices the opinion that Saints have enjoyed the better of the limited chances. St Johnstone's firm grip on the match was akin to Big Dick's grip on his dismembered member, "perhaps Rangers exertions against Feyenoord are having an effect"? Handing back to the commentary team at the beginning of the second half, Big Dick posed the question, "Can Rangers find an answer in the second half"? Of course, Rangers ran in four goals, Alfredo providing a part of the answer inside the opening minute of the second forty-five. There were two contentious decisions, a clear hand ball by a Saints defender inside his penalty box, a penalty not awarded. The other was Defoe's second and Rangers fourth goal, he was offside, not flagged.

 

Big Dick inflated sense of his own importance took over, it was like watching Morelos of last season. Big Dick imbued with the energy of a new born giraffe, decided to become a thruster. He rhymed off a well rehearsed speech about refereeing decisions familiar to smaller clubs when playing Rangers. He noted Saints were denied a clear goal, he saw the ball cross the line He had no doubts, and, "tonight's Sportscene will prove it". Big Dick failed to mention the Saints hand ball, but threw in Defoe being offside; it will add to the home side's sense of legitimate grievance.

 

Sportscene arrived. It showed Cosgrove was outside the Livi' box, and it was his foot that tangled with the Livi' defender, verdict no penalty. Further, all three Amigos congratulated the Referee and Linesman for getting the goal line clearance by Steve Davis absolutely correct. Defoe was offside, but an injury time fourth goal had no effect on the result. The Rangers penalty claim was shown, but not examined. See Big Dick, what a prick?

 

 

 

Big Dick fails to raise a Semi.

 

We move to midweek, it's Scottish League Cup quarter-final night. Aberdeen are at Tynecastle and Rangers are skating on Livi's plastic. Big Dick is cock-a-hoop, Aberdeen are the beneficiaries of two penalties, Cosgrove, the goal machine buries both. Rangers are the beneficiary of an early deflected goal by Kamara. Livi' shell the ball into the Rangers box from all angles and we live on our nerves. Joe Aribo is elbowed and receives 20 stitches to his head. We have had several chances to tie up the tie, but we manage to squander all. Going into the final moments, PQ are hopeful of a deserved Livi' leveler, "Livingston are asking all the right questions of Rangers soft central defence".

 

Big Dick's calm tones reflect smooth waters ebbing at Tynie, then Craig Halkett(former Rangers youth player) equalises and takes the tie to penalties. Rangers qualifying for the semi-finals is an after thought; but no worries, the goal machine will see the Dandies into the last four. Cosgrove skys the Reds first post match penalty, two other Dons players copy that, and Big Dick is clawing for the Viagra. It sounded as if Big Dick was having a hard time, keeping his pecker up. It was despondent Big Dick desperately clutching Wullie(Miller) for comfort. Of course, Big Dick could take comfort in that H-u-n, Joe Aribo with twenty stitches in a head wound and no red card. I don't know if Big Dick allows Rangers a sense of grievance?

 

 

 

Flacid Big Dick.

 

The footballing week culminated at Ibrox. An early evening ferry crossing and several hour drive was my foreplay to sitting erect awaiting kick-off. PQ had Rob McLean on the naughty step, Big Dick was in the darkened room with a tumescent revolver. Rangers fire was quick, constant, and accurate. Aberdeen, Scotland's second best team fired blanks. Rob had no stimulation for Big Dick, his final contribution was, "Defoe makes it five, Aberdeen are looking for an offside". Being raised to absolutely hate Rangers appears to lead to erectile dysfunction, because Big Dick gave the result a few times but had no energy to discuss the result with an expectant Billy Dodds. Further, unlike the Scottish Cup quarter-final replay in late March, Big Dick did NOT call Derek McInnes for post match comments. A flacid Big Dick was left with the lame mantra, "Aberdeen were missing eight players through either injury or sickness".

 

Still, the number of Dandies in the PQ Gang Hut, you can form a self help group. Indulge in several sessions of cross-hand boogie, it will get the blood flowing again. If more is needed, remember Chris McLaughlin is well regarded as, 'Head Bhoy'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Soulsonic5791 408]

'Clawing for the Viagra' 

Edited September 30, 2019 by Soulsonic5791

[Tannochsidebear 2,306]

Superb once again @26th of foot, I had been waiting since the full time whistle for your unique insight into all matters Dandy and you didn’t disappoint.  “Flaccid big dick” indeed! Wonderful stuff!

[ian1964 10,386]

 

[der Berliner 3,219]

42 minutes ago, ian1964 said:

 

 

Too bad if you only watch the SPFL highlights that show the incident from the wrong side. As opposed to the game, where you clearly saw the trip ... which caused the defender's reaction!

 

Scroll down, 15 mins highlights from Russian Rangers ... incident around the 3 min mark

http://rangersfc.org/index.php?dn=news&to=art&id=4032

 

Edited September 30, 2019 by der Berliner

[compo 6,079]

About  time Dick was castrated  .

Edited October 1, 2019 by compo