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Former Top Referee Blows Dog Whistle.

 

These days, the bankrupt Wullie Miller earns a crust from constant outpourings on BBC Radio Scotland. Big Dick loves to lay out his achievements as Aberdeen's most successful Skipper, and regularly promotes Wullie's time on Aberdeen's Board as Director of Football, brings that special insight. Miller's managerial career is glossed over and his time as the country's best referee is only occasionally joked upon. The plethora of Dandies on the various shows worship at the altar of Wullie, and when Miller blows the dog whistle, everyone comes to heel.

 

There's never any mention of Wullie's fish frying abilities. Twenty years past he took on a Harry Ramsdens franchise based at Aberdeen's south beach, and it tanked. Twice bankrupted, Wullie is the epitome of a bail out merchant. He is fortunate that a sympathetic crew of broadcasters allow him free reign. It's easy. he talks with authority because he is protected. Words such as morality, integrity, principle, probity, ...... etc trip off his tongue without fear of betrayal. These days, Aberdeen's chief investor is Dave Cormack, recently returned from the States to peruse the club's books.

 

In the last 25 years, Aberdeen have had a historical debt of £19 million written off by a sympathetic bank. They have survived two legitimate relegations, beneficiaries of creative administrators. Further, they have persevered with a ground moving proposal that has allowed them to oversee a stadium that would NOT receive a safety certificate anywhere else in Scotland. Pittodrie is a toilet. Cormack's book learning has proved depressive, an unsuccessful manager exacerbates the situation. Cormack realises Aberdeen are a heartbeat away from misery, he uses the current bleak medical situation to moan about his club living beyond it's means. A cost of £5 million to survive the season's end, insurance running out next month, and the fantasy of moving stadium to be run out, AGAIN?

 

Aberdeen's solution is to end the season as is, Sellik champions and Hearts relegated, and play out the Scottish Cup because there's £3 million prize money among four clubs. It's a hard sell, particularly if you went hard recently on all that bullsh1t about sporting integrity. The PR is fired up, Wullie is wheeled before the Aberdeen Evening Express, then gets to reinforce the current fantasy on the national broadcaster, because he can. Wullie says

 

1. Ultimately, integrity has to be binned, hard pragmatism takes over. No one will be happy, tough times demand tough decisions.

2. Sellik are champions, Hearts have had a poor season and should be relegated. All clubs must ultimately accept these decisions.

3. The season cannot be declared null and void.

4. Three cup games are easy, play them next season allowing the four clubs access to much needed finance.

5. The legal route is Not the way to go.

 

There you have it, Wullie the Voice of Reason.

 

The voices of no reason on Saturday were once again, Tom English and Michael Stewart. Discussing Dave King's stepping down and Douglas Park taking over as interim Chairman is an invitation at PQ for sustained fcukwittery. Michael does not disappoint, he began with the accepted Beeb Scotland mantra, "forget about Europe". Yep, that's the rational, forget about 31 games in under two seasons, it upsets the arithmetic. Michael begins with, "Rangers are spending more than we earn", reminds us that, "Mike Ashley had the club nearly breaking even", and Dougie Park has been left with a huge ask. Further, Michael will be "astonished" if Rangers can find any fresh investment and is, "surprised" King has abandoned the club as this point. Tom concluded with the word, "uncertainty".

 

I await Jum Spence shouting, 'contrition'?   

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25 minutes ago, 26th of foot said:

Michael begins with, "Rangers are spending more than we earn", reminds us that, "Mike Ashley had the club nearly breaking even"

No wonder he's a ScotNat, with that bizarre grasp of economics. 

 

?

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Lies, damned lies, and Statistics.

 

Today, on BBC Scotland's website, we can continue to see Rangers Colts lost 2-1 to Inverness CT on the 16th February'20 in the Tunnock's Carmel Wafer Challenge Cup. I suspect it's a comfort thing for the majority of their regular readers? Further, there's an article from Martin Watt entitled, 'How do the statisticians think the Premiership season will finish'? Underneath a huge photo' of ra Sellik on an open top bus celebrating a league win, Irish tricolour to the fore; Quantitative Methods are weaponised to once again put the H-u-ns in their place. I am sure Martin has completed the necessary chi squared analysis and t-test for fit? There are a few of Venn diagrams and pie charts in nice pastel shades.

 

The conclusion is Rangers have a 1.13% chance of winning the league. Hearts have a 56% chance of avoiding relegation. Aberdeen are predicted to overturn Motherwell's current third placing, and St Johnstone have an opportunity of a top six place finish, should they win their game in hand(Rangers at Ibrox)? Next week, BBC Scotland consult Astrologers, telephone Pythia, High Priestess of the Oracle at Delphi, and conduct a live broadcast of Scatomancy on Peter and Neil's feces. Here's hoping our 1.13% chance of success rises?

 

Oh, and Tom English has conducted a heart to heart with Neil Lennon, a real insight. Apparently, Neil has faced down a bombs and bullets threat, ......................................... and all sorts of other shit. Tom did not ask about the land deal with Slab Murphy, or the threats of violence against women, or Bolton Wanderers? A real insight? Thats Tom for you, guaranteed happy endings every time. Maybe, Martin Watt can get the Statisticians to predict the probability of Tom gagging at least once?

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Self Interest is Best.

 

Forty six people died yesterday in Scotland, cause of death was Covid 19. For the third week running, 'Off the Ball' had Jason Leitch, Scotland's National Clinical Director as a guest. It's a good call, it allows someone with important things to say about all our welfare, to reach a different demographic. Professor Leitch has excellent communication skills, he says what he means, and means what he says. He relates his boyhood experiences at Broomfield, whilst getting his health message across. The fly in the ointment is once again, DrStu', determined to utilise Leitch's appearances with making political capital.

 

Last week, DrStu' asked Leitch his view on Prince Charles being tested at Balmoral, whilst front line health staff still had no access to testing. Leitch side-stepped the question with the ease of old Airdrie winger, Billy Wilson going around a full back. He is a health professional with a message and he knows he will be compromised by straying into obvious political matters. Yesterday, DrStu' undeterred, praised the First Minister in her handling of the crisis, "she hasn't put a step wrong and I feel Scotland is comparatively emerging from this in a better state"? Again, Leitch dummied the clown and drifted on to his next message.

 

DrStu' introduced his son, Jack into the discussion and asked if he could still provide an Easter Egg hunt for the lad? Leitch replied no problem as long as the exercise was confined to home and garden. Of course, DrStu' has numerous properties around the Globe and I am sure he won't make the mistake of visiting any of his second homes to plant eggs. It's a pity, Scotland's Chief Medical Officer, Catherine Calderwood did not heed the advice she provides a dozen times per day in the broadcast media, 'Stay at Home'. She chose to visit her Fife holiday home in Earlsferry yesterday, just as DrStu' was getting excited about comparatives. 

 

As stated before, when DrStu' gets excited, he becomes garrulous. Michael Stewart is a guest too, and DrStu' is anxious to flash his nationalist credentials. His social media feed has, 'Langside Susan' and Gerry Braiden on it, he reveals. Glasgow City Council Leader, Susan Aitken and the SNP's PRO in Glasgow, Gerry Braiden, could help in hiding Easter Eggs, Susan could give you access to her husband's Art Gallery space at the Trongate, you know the one he gets to rent from the Council for a single pound per year? Maybe, Gerry can tell us the spin on Councillor Alex Wilson leaving his wife and two autistic children for fellow Nationalist Councillor, Mandy Morgan? You know social distancing, stay at home, and no visiting. Comparative studies will bite you on the arse.

 

The very attempt to make political capital, the so called couthy Perth lad is so out of touch. J'accuse, take a walk along Edinburgh Road, it's the continuation of Alexandra Parade you often talk about whilst walking your son to school. A mile along and you will come to Burlington Court, an elderly Care Home. Last week, 13 folks perished due to Covid 19 in that very establishment.  They had no access to hospital, how does that compare DrStu'?

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Self Interest is Best 2.

 

Today, Police Scotland issued a formal warning to a group of Aberdeen players gathered together in a local park for a training session. At the weekend, the plethora of Dandies at PQ had a broadcast stroll in the park. Big Dick backed up by the binner of sporting integrity Wullie Miller, introduced Aberdeen majority shareholder, Dave Cormack live from Florida. Good news, Dave and fellow investors were pumping in a further £2 million to aid the Dons through the current crisis. Cormack wants the footballing authorities to arrive at quick decisions to progress the game. He banged on for some time, but really he was just saying what Peter told him to say.

 

Twice bankrupt Wullie added batter to Cormack's fish fry, "heartening to hear monies in the bank, another £2 million being added, most other clubs in Scotland will not have such good fortune". Big Dick concurred. Wullie poured vinegar on questions reference Aberdeen's ground relocation. Well, Cormack had just got quite salty on the matter, I suspect it has been parked but Peter had fail failed to brief Dave on that matter. When will someone at PQ ask about Safety Certificates for two stands at Pittodrie and suggest further revenue should be utilised to bring the dung heap, up to date? 

 

Tom English and Pat Bonner joined Big Dick and Wullie, Tom settled the expectant audience immediately, "ah spoke to Peter yesterday". Tom is quite important. Alan Preston spoke but he is a member of the Foundation of Hearts, and the Jambos are no longer considered a 'model club'; so Big Dick introduced Derek McInnes. Surprisingly, Derek agreed with Cormack, and soothing noises chorused in the background. Derek went further, "Celtic should be awarded the title, only Rangers supporters would argue". Barry Ferguson was next up, and he agreed with Derek, who agreed with Cormack, who had been Petered, and Tom oversaw that everyone was in a state of Holicom compliance.

 

Today's Beeb website has former Compliance Officer, Anthony McGlennan bravely scolding UEFA and demanding ra Sellik be awarded the title. Apparently, Tony is a Lawyer and knows stuff, although I suspect the fact he is a current Sellik season ticket holder trumps all else.  Further comfort can be found as Rangers Colts result at Inverness remains front and center from the 16th February. This coming Saturday, PQ will have live interviews with Aggie McGlumpher, Lolipop Lady at St Aloysius, Tom Boyd, Skipper of FC Holicom , and Fabio, spear sharpener for the Swiss Guard. I wonder what unites their collective thoughts?

 

We know Big Dick has a Saturday column in the Aberdeen Press and Journal. At the conclusion of last season, his SPL Premiership team of the season included four Aberdeen players and one Ranger. On Saturday last, he eulogised Beeb Scotland for showing the entire 1991 Scottish Cup final between Motherwell and Dundee United; however, this Sunday's fare of the 2002 final deflated him, "tomorrow evening's offering is the 2002 final which doesn't particularly excite me". Good to see Big Dick continues to flash his Rangers hating credentials. I vote Big Dick to be FC Holicom's goal keeper, plenty of competition for places.

 

I should add a note of caution, we have seen it all before and know how it ends. How long before FC Holicom becomes a separate entity? 

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2 minutes ago, Gonzo79 said:

Our ex-players are like a bunch of nodding dogs when it comes to the Scottish press.

 

It does my nut in.  

 

Grow some balls, FFS!

Aside from Alex Rae and, possibly, Kevin Thomson.

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