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Comedy in Edinburgh


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How can you have comedy in a place that has raised self-importance to an art form (and got taxpayers money to subsidise it)?

Well, apart from Holyrood, of course. Maybe that's tragedy.

 

 

From the 'Fringe' and proximate places, allegedly:

 

 

“I had a gender-neutral upbringing. My father didn’t want to identify as either parent.”  

                                                         

“I went to a state comprehensive school. I don’t think it was fully comp; more like third-party fire and theft.”

               

 “Before therapy I didn’t do anything. I didn’t see my friends, didn’t watch TV, didn’t read…but last week. I finished a whole book. Let me tell you, that caterpillar was very hungry.”    

 

 “The best way to sum up living in the deep south of America . . . my roommate had a pro-life sticker on her Uzi.”      

 

 “Someone died from eating too much liquorice in 2022. People really do die of allsorts nowadays. . .”  

                               

“My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.”    

                                                       

 “Today, I sent a food parcel to my first wife. Fed Ex.”    

       

 “To the person who stole my debit card and spent £200 on Ancestry.com . . . You know who you are.”    

                     

  "Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon."                              

"Hedgehogs, why can't they just share the hedge?"                

 

An elderly man and wife got to church and sit in the very front pew. Half-way through the ceremony, she turns to him and whispers 'I have just broken wind completely silently. What do you think of that?'. He replies 'I think that it's time you replaced the battery in your hearing aid.'                           

 

Jewish lady discussing on the bus with her Gentile pal:     “Circumcision, shmircumcision! Do you know of any Jewish housewife who would touch anything unless it had at least 10% off?”

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