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Hurlock

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Location

  • Location
    Inverness

Interests

  • Interests
    Alcohol, football and Ibiza

Occupation

  • Occupation
    IT and Gersnet of Course !!
  1. Next season: Diouf - Out, Edu - Out, Weir - Out (Sorry Davie but you're too slow now), Lafferty - F off
  2. Great, Craig's out of the closet and Gav's thinking of me naked...........great to be back. It was some kind of radio phone in apparently. (Yes their fans apparently spend money on calling hotlines............surprising I know). I will endeavour to trace any other reports of this throughout the web shortly but I bet you a whole cats' testicle that it traces to their forums everytime.
  3. Just heard a disturbing rumour that Mr Weiss was caught in a hotel room with another man? It came from a tattie muncher so already doubting the credibility of this story. Any update peeps?
  4. Whether or not Miller stays or goes, whether or not Goodwillie comes or stays. Jelavic will be back soon. I actually think with a few games under his belt and he stays injury free he may be the man to keep us the title. Beattie's been a waste of space for me but the J-Man will come good.
  5. Bet his burd was after his money so told him he was eating pasta. That story is just wrong.
  6. I remember Paulo Di Canio chasing after Ferguson after the final whistle of an old firm match years ago and Ferguson just walked away laughing.............hilarious !
  7. "We have been trounced 4-0 and 4-0 but we have not been murder in terms of our overall play." You also lost 1-0 to Raith Rovers in the CIS cup 2nd round tonight Mr Reid.
  8. He looks strong and has a belter of a strike, he shouldn't cost much either, bring him in and give him a go, other than Whittaker and Lafferty we don't really have a left winger of such to get the ball into the mix.
  9. My mate's been shagging twins. I asked him; "How do you tell them apart?" He said; "It's easy, Julie's got blonde hair and big boobs and Derek's got a cock !"
  10. Gribz, better check under the bed incase you took a ladyboy home last night.......haha
  11. And some more chat up lines; Not having much luck with the ladies? Try some of these chat up lines: I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)Let's get you out of these wet clothes. Nice legs...what time do they open? Do you work for the Post Office? I thought I saw you checking out my package. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one? I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions? Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking? Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza? Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
  12. Man Flu - The Facts... 1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*. *(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.) 2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too. 3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' � which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities. 4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in. 5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it 6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast). 7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known. 8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off. 9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu. 10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing powers. Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
  13. Chat up lines: Him; "Hi my name is Bond." Her; "James Bond right?" Him; "No, Unibond actually, I'm here to fill your crack!!"
  14. Will Celtic's cars be fitted with Tim Tims to help them leave Glasgow ?
  15. Still waiting Mr Jelavic, maybe before Christmas perhaps ??
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