Jump to content



Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'shirt'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Main Forums
    • Rangers Chat
    • General Football Chat
    • Bluenose Lounge
    • Forum Support and Feedback


  • Community Calendar

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start



About Me




Favourite Rangers Player




  1. Guest

    pre ordered new top

    i pre-ordered the new top for someone on the 4th june Rangers Home Shirt 2010/11 SS [Pre-Order] Custom Shirt Name:PAPAJJ This is a pre-order item and will be delivered on the release date but now got a email sent 16th Dear Customer On your Rangers FC pre-order you have requested printing but have provided us with a name that the warehouse will not print as it is a nickname. Could you please can you let us know what alternative printing you require. As i am only part time staff, please reply with your order number and what printing you require to customerservices@jjbsports.com. Kind Regards Lewis Ramsdale Customer Service Team but on rangers megastore is says *Your Free Shirt Printing offer can be redeemed in the Rangers Megastore and selected JJB Sports stores. Simply print off your order confirmation and take it along with you before close of business on 27.06.10. my question is could this be bogus email ? i have ordered the top before with same name with no problems
  2. Word has it that Lafferty has been given the nod that he will be given the No9 shirt next year , make of that what you will
  3. http://www.rangersmegastore.com/rangers-limited-edition-boxed-shirt/champions-merchandise/shop/fcp-product/1818 Half price.... and only 600 made.
  4. After all the excitement of Rangers winning the title for the 53rd time, many of us have enjoyed each week's twists and turns by way of playing in the Gersnet BBC Predictor League. The final standings are as shown here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/scotland/sportscotland/predictor/scotland.pl?season=SPL20092010&action=minileague&subaction=view&id=8592&modifier=M01&x=24&y=10 Top 5 Scozzese 166 petegers 164 ak5679 162 Gersnet_Bluedell 161 Gersnet_ian1964 157 Well done to our winner 'Scozzese' who can claim their prize (the new Rangers home or away shirt) by pm-ing our kind prize donator Craig with their Predictor user details. Thanks to everyone who took part and hopefully those of you, like me, who forgot most weeks will remember for future competitions! PS: We're hoping to announce our World Cup competition in the next few days - again with a few prizes for those who take part!
  5. Prior to ending his ill fated reign with Celtic this week Tony Mowbray had taken so much on the chin that only Jimmy Hill or Buzz Lightyear could have withstood so many blows to the jaw. From the moment he entered Celtic Park as the new manager Mowbray was struggling to make himself understood and often left listeners and observers questioning his intentions and meaning. It is undeniable that the media hold a large amount of sway over the general public and if you are not able to keep the devious and conniving journalists happy or provide them with good copy then you are facing an uphill battle undertaking such a high profile role in managing one half of the Old Firm. Admittedly the press cannot argue that black is white or up is down. However, if you end up on the wrong side of the tabloid press perhaps they can influence mass opinion and shorten your stay in Glasgow? By manipulating popular opinion a manager may find his time is up sooner (or later) than it should be. Walter Smithââ?¬â?¢s predecessor Paul Le Guen struggled with the language barrier and a fairly diffident approach to speaking to the press as part of official club duties. As with Tony the Fourth, Le Guenââ?¬â?¢s results were atrocious and ultimately led to his downfall; however, had Le Guen enjoyed a more genial relationship with Scotlandââ?¬â?¢s hacks perhaps they might have been able to engender greater good will to the Frenchmanââ?¬â?¢s vision for the future of Rangers. Alas, PLG delivered neither the results not cultivated the media relationships to extend his stay into a second season. Now, those two examples; PLG and Mowbray, it could be argued had to leave as results ensured their position had become untenable. That would not explain the departure of Gordon Strachan. After 3 successful seasons in the East End Walter Smith returned to Ibrox to wrest back control over Scottish football to Govan. Three consecutive successful seasons followed by one poor year would normally give the manager enough credit to have a shot at a re-exerting their dominance. Strachan, though, has always been a prickly character when dealing with the press. Whilst his quips and barbed replies provide amusement to fans across the country, the journalists are less amused at his cutting remarks. Strachan was never accepted by the Celtic ââ?¬Å?faithfulââ?¬Â as he wasnââ?¬â?¢t Celtic minded (an Irish RC bigot) but again a national press normally ever willing to talk up their Celtic friends did nothing to assuage fan opinion even in spite of his success. The previous incumbents of the managerial hot-seats; Alex McLeish and Martin Oââ?¬â?¢Neill were afforded plenty of good will by the journalistic brotherhood. McLeish epitomised everything a Rangers manager should in much the same way as Walter Smith does now. Gracious in victory, dignified in defeat. A Scotland legend and a well spoken and amenable man in dealing with the press. Oââ?¬â?¢Neill, by contrast is much the opposite, the typical Celtic man. He led the club through some undignified stunts (using his opposite manââ?¬â?¢s name in celebratory t-shirt slogans) and is the poster boy for sore losers. He helped fan the flames of bigotry, making a mountain out of a molehill and then some. A softly spoken man who talks intelligently to the assembled media, yet a distinctly dislikeable person. We have seen with Gordon Strachan how Celtic fans will claim not to be able to put aside their footballing philosophy in the pursuit of success. Yet they only turned on Strachan once he failed to deliver the SPL trophy and never complained about the ugly, agricultural brand of football that Oââ?¬â?¢Neill delivered as he tried and ultimately failed to compete with Alex McLeish. Thanks to a fawning media Oââ?¬â?¢Neillââ?¬â?¢s inability to produce a brand of football that was anything close to resembling the total football they profess is their trademark was completely ignored. He had the support of our press, delivered some success (though not as successful as Strachan) and so his faults were ignored. Walter Smith will most likely choose his own time to depart from Rangers for the second time. An ability to pick his own retirement date will primarily be earned through continued years of domestic dominance. It will also owe a lot to his control of the West Coast Sports Writers. A man of immense respect within the game and unparalleled dignity, the journalists know better than to pick a fight with the Don of Scottish Football. Some have tried before and as Chic Young among them will testify have come off a very poor second best.
  6. Just so we know it's not just Timothy who is paranoid...these quotes are from Cricinfo.com and relate to England's win over Bangladesh (BD) this morning. Must be an ex-pat celt, I reckons. and a textbook reply... You can tell how heartbroken I am at the defeat to Dundee Utd by the fact that I'm reading the cricket scores...
  7. A SICK Celtic fan taunts brave Falklands hero Simon Weston - by waving an ARGENTINA shirt during yesterday's Old Firm clash. The vile stunt came as war veteran Simon - who suffered horrific burns in the conflict - was a guest of Rangers' charity at Ibrox. SIMON WESTON Guest ... hero Weston Furious ex-Army major Mike Rumbles MSP said: "It is totally unacceptable. This mindless rivalry between Old Firm fans has now hit a new low. This is deplorable." It's claimed other Hoops fans heaped more shame on their club during their 1-0 defeat by chanting the name of the South American country and waving its flag. Former SAS commander and top civil servant Clive Fairweather said: "It is very extreme and disappointing." And Stephen Smith, of the Rangers Supporters' Trust, added: "It's a disgrace that this abuse was directed at one of the country's war heroes. "There's no excuse for this type of behaviour." Hero Simon, 48, suffered agonising burns to almost half his body when his ship the Sir Galahad was destroyed by an Argentinian bomb during the 1982 conflict. He was the guest of honour at a special Rangers Charity Foundation's lunch the day before the Ibrox side's 1-0 victory. Celtic fans had claimed earlier this week that his appearance was deliberately designed to provoke them. One poster on the Celtic Supporters' Association website wrote: "This is a decision taken at the very highest level hoping to get a reaction from the Celtic fans. "Why didn't they present him with a jersey the day before Remembrance Sunday?" Celtic fans were also blasted for not respecting a minute's silence held yesterday for former Ibrox keeper Gerry Neef, who died last week. Rangers supporters' chief John Macmillan said: "It was a tiny minority who broke the silence but that is all you need." http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2872402/Celtic-fans-sick-Falklands-War-stunt.html
  8. Looking forward to watching the pre match handshake here to see if Bridge snubs Terry. Bookies are taking good bets on them shaking hands, tackling, bookings, shirt swapping and spotting the chick Terry nailed in the crowd. Personally if i was Bridge I'd shake hands and look the other way and put myself back in the England squad. In 20 years time he will look back and realise he was silly not going to a world cup over this. As long as Man City get a point or a win I dont care.
  9. I will not predict the score of our visit to Ibrox on Sunday but am happy to predict the location of media microphones for the minutes silence before the game. There will be one at the turnstiles, one down Broomloan Road and one at the nearest 12:00 Mass, all looking for audio for Monday's news. It took two people singing while alighting a bus at Falkirk to make the news, less material will be sufficient next week. Rangers are also using the occasion to present a 'poppy shirt' to Simon Weston, the Falklands veteran whose injuries became a token of the conflict. For those of you too young to recall, many Celtic fans, indeed many UK citizens, opposed Britain's imperial claim over the Falklands during the time of the 1982 conflict - as was their democratic right. I have do no doubt that this half time presentation is being done purely to provoke Celtic supporters into giving the media a stick to beat them with by people who both hate our support and think they are clever enough to manipulate them. This is also a crude exploitation of Simon Weston, a victim of conflict, innocent of the political motivation behind his invite. Half time presentations never make the news, never, ever, ever, make the news. Scotland's broadcast and written media have an editorial decision to make, either they allow themselves to be exploited by this or they report no differently than usual. While Celtic fans can be characterised by opposition to empire, Rangers fans are known to have far less tasteful objections. The sight of a religious charity being honoured at the next Celtic Park meeting between the clubs would provoke some of football's illegal prejudices. Rangers' strategists might be smarter than a handful of Celtic fans but they have enormous vulnerabilities to be playing a game like this. They may be able to make Celtic fans newsworthy every now and then, but reciprocal action would bring their club into conflict with Uefa discrimination rules. Celtic's strategists should note that 'reciprocal action' is the only language these people understand. Like it or not, we are being dragged into a scrappy war of attrition by a vulnerable enemy who are boxed into a corner. Just beat them, Celtic. http://www.celticquicknews.co.uk/2010/02/rangers-play-falklands-veteran.php
  10. CHAIRMAN reveals profit of 13.1million pounds to December 31, 2009 More... RANGERS have announced unaudited interim results for the six months to 31 December 2009 and chairman Alastair Johnston has released the following statement: I HAVE pleasure in presenting the Interim Results for the six months to 31 December 2009, a period that saw the Chairmanship of the Club pass to myself in August 2009. The ensuing six months of my tenure saw us perform in Europe's elite club competition and reap the financial benefit of so doing in achieving turnover of �£37.8m and an operating profit of �£13.1m, an increase of �£22.0m on the prior year. These however have been challenging times within the Club, and credit must go to Martin Bain and Walter Smith and their respective teams in maintaining performance, standards and above all the intrinsic value of the Club over this period. Whilst our results in the UEFA Champions League were disappointing, we currently sit proudly at the top of the Clydesdale Bank Premier League, and have progressed to the final of The Co-operative Insurance Cup and the fifth round of the Active Nation Scottish Cup. This has been achieved with a first team squad that has been stretched through injury and suspension, which has in itself created opportunities for the younger members of the squad. Whilst the recent transfer window saw the departure of Pedro Mendes and Jerome Rothen, it was pleasing to retain our more valued assets in the run in for the league title. Discussions continue on various contract extensions, although a balance has to be struck between value and player expectations. Earlier this month we were delighted to confirm the appointment of Tennent's Lager as the official Club and shirt sponsor from 2010/11. We will continue to work towards a positive climax to a highly successful and productive seven year relationship with Carling. Work also continues in developing our ground-breaking media offering through http://www.rangersTV.tv, enabling live broadcasts and archive material to be viewed on demand. Although the effect of the current economic climate had an impact on ticketing and hospitality sales as well as the income from SPL media rights, the turnover for the six months to 31 December 2009 rose by �£17.7m to �£37.8m on the back of Champions League participation. Due to the timing of our involvement in the Champions League, revenue is weighted in favour of the first six months of the financial year. Net operating expenses decreased by �£3.6m to �£21.0m reflecting the reduced salary levels and efficiencies introduced throughout the Club, and resulted in an increase in operating profit of �£22.0m. Accounting for a �£5.5m decrease in gains from the sale of player registrations to last year, profit before interest and tax rose by �£16.5m to �£13.8m. Lower interest rates and historical tax losses contributed to a retained profit of �£13.1m, compared to a retained loss of �£3.9m for the same period last year, an increase of �£17.0m. Whilst the Interim Results are pleasing, a degree of caution is required as the future outlook is fraught with challenges. When I assumed the Chairmanship in August 2009, I realised that we had to take a short-term perspective on the business model that we needed to adopt for the financial year through to June 2010. The Board appreciated the understanding of Lloyds TSB Bank plc in supporting our initiatives to stabilise the Club without totally compromising the ability of the management team to field a competitive squad of players for the current season. We continue our efforts to source a capital injection into the Club to fuel the ambitions of the staff, supporters and shareholders, all of whom have been remarkably supportive as we navigate through the turbulence. Until such time as this is achieved, we are compelled to maintain our working relationship with Lloyds TSB Bank plc. The Board understands that reliance on such a facility going forward is not desirable if we are to retain control over the Club's destiny and avoid negatively impacting the potential for future success. However, a balanced view is required at this stage amongst operating sustainability, ambition, and the commensurate underlying value of the Club. Rangers will need continued commitment from all of those with the best interests of the Club in mind in the months ahead, and I remain totally confident that we will prevail together.
  11. Go no farther if you are easily offended!!!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend says the hardest thing in the world is to balance a career and a family. She's obviously never tried to balance a laptop on her knees while having a wank. There�s a new sex position in the Karma Sutra called "The Plumber". Both of you stay in all day, and no fucker cums ...:-S. There's a new craze in Camborne pubs. Girls are putting vodka jelly up their snatches and having blokes suck it out with straws. Police and health authorities are now worried about the effects of Minge drinking. SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS:! ! ! It has been announced that next year's shirt sponsor for TIGER WOODS will be Tampax. A spokesman for Tampax said "To sponsor a cunt going through a bad period is exactly what our company is all about." Just bought a cool game for the PS3, it's about a black guy who drives round shagging whores, uses violence involving metal clubs, crashes his car & evades the police- it's called Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09. New from Andrex, paki toilet paper! Not only is there a print of the prophet Mohammed on every sheet, whenever you wipe your arse, you get to colour him in!! Best Headache Joke Ever - A husband emerged from the bathroom naked & was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I've a headache!" "Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you. Two Asian brothers have been killed when they fell through a frozen pond in Birmingham. ITV are to make a documentary on the third brother who survived the ordeal. Dan Singh on ice will be screened in the spring... Just heard Jonathan Ross is leaving the BBC. Was wondering what you and your three mates are going to do with the piano? The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she was pregnant by the black boyfriend, she was discussing baby names the other day, apparently 'Terry the Chocolate Orange' is not an appropriate name and enough to get me the sack! When I put my Christmas lights up this year I wasn't sure whether or not it would offend my Muslim neighbours. So just to be on the safe side I painted 'Allah is a cunt' on my garage door! A gorgeous blonde in the pub has just offered me fantastic 'no strings' sex. . . . pity I�m into bondage 5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's. 1 % liked warmth 2 % liked sensation. 3 % liked eroticism. 94 % just liked the peace and quiet 4 people on a train, Scotsman, Paki, old lady & a very fit blonde with extraordinarily large tit's. They go into a tunnel & hear a very loud slap! When they come out the Paki's rubbing his face, the old lady thinks... 'I bet he tried touching the blonde & got slapped!' blonde thinks, 'I bet he tried touching me & got the old lady instead'. Scotsman thinks, 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that fuckin Paki again'! Just wanted to let you know that in 2010 I will no longer be forwarding or sending racist jokes. Racism is a crime. And crime is for black people. Be careful out there. Driving conditions are awful. Today I slid off the road and hit a Muslim extremist! It took two fields & a golf course, but I got there in the end. I was having great sex today when just as we got towards the climax my wife completely ruined the moment and said those words that just fills a man�s heart with fear dread & panic.... ! ! "hi Honey I�m home".. Did u see Paul McCartney the other night on X Factor playing the piano...? Nice to see him fingering something with legs for a change !! Susan Boyle has a photo shoot tomorrow for her new album. Simon Cowell wishes to improve her image by surrounding her with proper ugly bastards. The bus will pick you up at nine, try not to miss it there's a tenner in it for you . I bought a DVD the other day called 'My Favourite 18 Holes' by Tiger Woods. What a waste of money. It was all about golf. Apparently Tiger Woods and his wife were simply having a disagreement over a game of cards. And, as it turns out, a club does beat a spade.
  12. Stolen from an irish football forum.... A (TRANSFER DEADLINE) DAY IN THE LIFE OF ROBERT DAVID KEANE (AGED 29) 12pm: Get up and eat hearty Irish breakfast. It's going to be another long transfer deadline day chez Keane. I've been a massive fan of transfer deadline day all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 12.45pm: Mmm, that was tasty. I've been a massive fan of rashers, eggs, sausages, baked beans, black pudding, soda bread and black tea all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 1.30pm: Knock on lid of sunbed and ask Claudine where designer washbag is. She says she'll pack it for me when she's finished topping up her tan. She's been a massive fan of UV rays, going back to when she was a kid growing up in Dublin. 1.35pm: Check tabloid websites to see which teams I'm being linked with. Ooh! Sunderland and the Queen's Celtic. I haven't played for either before, but like Wolves, Coventry, Inter, Dirty Leeds, Spurs and Liverpool, I've been a massive fan of both clubs all my life, going back to when I was kid growing up in Dublin. 1.50pm: Print off template of stock unveiling speech that's served me so well down the years: "It's absolutely fantastic, a real dream come true for me. I've been a [insert team name in here] fan all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin, and I always had a [insert team name in here] shirt on my back. So, to be here now as a [insert team name in here] player is incredible and I couldn't be happier ..." 2pm: Mr 10% hasn't called, so knock on lid of sunbed to ask Claudine what I should do next. She says to check to see if there's any reporters from Sky Sports News standing shivering outside the house. I've been a massive fan of Sky Sports News all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 2.05pm: Dash to window and look, but can't see any reporters from Sky Sports News. 4pm: Remember to open curtains and see inquisitive face of shivering, microphone-wielding eejit in Sky Sports puffa jacket staring back at me. I've been a massive fan of Andy Burton all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 4.30pm: Get call from Mr 10% - the Queen's Celtic have come in for me!!! That's great news. I've been a massive fan of the Queen's Celtic all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 4.35pm: Get on AA route-finder. 401.4 miles!?!?!? I can't get there by the deadline at 5pm. 5.40pm: Ring Mr 10% to explain predicament. Apparently the transfer window in Scotland doesn't close until midnight, so I've time to get a flight. A flight? I've been a massive fan of flying all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 5.45pm: Knock on lid of sunbed and tell Claudine we're moving to Glasgow. 5.50pm: Orange arm emerges from sunbed holding Armani washbag containing cheese sandwiches and a Lucozade bottle full of cold tea. I've been a massive fan of packed lunch all my life going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. 5.55pm: Leave house, step over frozen corpse of microphone-wielding man in Sky Sports puffa jacket. Drive to airport, get on plane. 9pm: Appear before press at Queen's Celtic Park wearing green and white hoops, the colours of Queen's Celtic who I've been a massive fan of all my life, going back to when I was a kid growing up in Dublin. "It's absolutely unbelievable. I always wanted to play for the [Queen's] Celtic and it works out well for both parties." 9.05pm: Check fixture list. Next up it's Kilmarnock away. I've been a massive fan of Kilma � actually no, I've never heard of them.
  13. http://www.gersnetonline.co.uk/2010/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=194:tennents-new-shirt-sponsor-of-rangers&catid=1:articles&Itemid=67 As most bears will be aware, the Carling shirt-sponsorship deal ends this summer and Coors (despite official comment to the contrary) have no plans to renew the deal with both sides of the Old Firm. This means several high profile companies have been in discussions with club representatives in recent months with a view to taking over the lucrative contract. To that end, we can confirm Tennent's have agreed a deal with both Rangers and Celtic to become the new shirt sponsor as of next season. Their existing deal with the Scottish Football Association ends after the World Cup and with no Scotland participation there-in, the company have decided they can increase brand exposure via working with club teams who can offer global awareness via the Champions' League. While the finances of the deal have not yet been confirmed, Rangers will be hoping to match the terms of the 2005 Carling monies and with the Umbro shirt manufacturer sponsorship also due to run out again this summer (but more complicated in terms of its association with JJB), this is one commercial positive for the financial battles ahead. This new deal is for two years with a 12 month option included.
  14. ian1964

    Kris boyd

    KRIS BOYD walked. Others hid. Shattered by George Burley's sickening snubs Boyd had sunk to an all-time low. Deeply hurt, bitterly frustrated and seething with anger the Rangers No9 took the bombshell decision he knew could haunt him for the rest of his career. A player who grew up dreaming of being Scotland's striker turned his back on his country with a heavy heart. Now 14 months after entering his own personal international exile Boyd wants to come back into the fold. Today in an exclusive interview with SunSport the Ibrox goal machine has revealed the Scotland squad was riddled with players who wanted to follow him out the door. Truth is they didn't have the bottle. Boyd said: "I made my decision and that was my choice. "Yet there are players who pulled out of squads with injuries when the fact is they just didn't want to be there. "Why not be a man about it and give the real reasons? "I have taken the flak, but there are others who have hidden behind things and got away with it. "I took the blame and had to handle it. That was my choice to make. "But in that last campaign I wasn't the only player who wanted to do what I did. "There were a whole load in there who felt the same way. Guys unhappy with the way things were going - that's certainly how I took it. "That's every player's own problem. For me it was time to get out. "I just know there were another five or six players wanting to do the same thing as me. "I'm even talking about boys who were playing. "It wasn't a happy environment but I was the only one who took the decision." Boyd now wants back. And new boss Craig Levein looks destined to grant him his wish when he names his first squad for the friendly clash with the Czech Republic in March. His inclusion will bring an end to those long months of anguish for the prolific 26-year-old hitman who felt he had to quit Scotland to save his career. Boyd added: "At the time when I made the decision I felt I was going nowhere. "There was no fall-out with George Burley. Advertisement "I just reached the stage where I felt I needed to get back to basics because of the way things were going. "I wasn't playing at club level and I definitely wasn't playing at international level. "Something had to give. It was a tough decision to make. But from a selfish point of view it was one I had to make. I was going away with Scotland for 10 days at a time as the fifth choice striker. "For me there wasn't much point in that. A Scotland fan could have sat on the bench and been as much use as I was. "I was just making up the numbers in training or on the bench. "That was killing me inside, but also not helping me when I was returning to Rangers. "You don't do much training and virtually spend your time between games lying around the team hotel. "That's no use to me. I'm not the type of player who can miss training and just turn it on when the match comes. "I just can't do it. I was sitting on the bench for Scotland virtually rotting away. "I was going back to Rangers feeling sluggish and there is no doubt not playing for Scotland was affecting my club career." The final straw came when Boyd was left rooted to the bench for the crucial World Cup qualifier with Norway. Chris Iwelumo was the man Burley turned to when we were in desperate need of a goal - with THAT miss entering football folklore within minutes. Hours later Boyd quit Scotland in a late-night phone-call to SFA chief executive Gordon Smith. It cut Boyd to the quick to do that and he said: "It's a privilege to play for your country. An honour. "The times I've pulled on a Scotland shirt means the world to me. "Those close to me know that. "I know there will be people who will say I turned my back on the country by walking out. "But I made the decision and I stand by it. "It was doing no one any good me sitting on the bench. "I needed to go back to basics and try and establish myself in the Rangers side. "That's the only way I'd be able to move forward. "But it was always my hope if I did that I'd be able to return to international football. "I said that at the time when I quit. Now I feel better for it as a player and a person so there are no regrets. None. "Maybe I could have handled it better, I accept that. "There are people I should have maybe spoken to before contacting Gordon Smith and telling him I no longer wanted to be considered. "But if I'd been talked out of it I would only have been delaying the inevitable. "I could have said nothing and kept turning up but something had to give eventually. "I couldn't keep going on the way things were. "I reached the stage where I didn't think there was any point in turning up. "The two games - against Northern Ireland and Norway - nailed that for me. "We were in need of a goal in both games but he didn't turn to me. I was an unused sub twice and thought: 'If he doesn't pick me now he never will.' "Burley didn't rate me. My reaction was maybe a selfish one but I stand by the choice I made." http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/2786538/A-bunch-of-players-were-desperate-to-walk-out-on-Burley.html
  15. Davy

    Boyd booking

    Absolute shocking!!....This ruling they have is a joke FFS!!He only lifted his shirt up to his midrift
  16. HE lifted his shirt and showed off his torso. But what was hidden deep inside was that Kris Boyd's stomach was churning. The Rangers No 9 had just netted against Falkirk to notch yet another remarkable career landmark - 150 goals in the SPL. But the magnificent feeling of personal achievement was quickly swept aside... by FEAR. Boyd is at the club of his dreams, but with January looming large the living nightmare for him is now fast approaching. Rangers did their best to sell their prized asset 12 months ago and the hitman is wary that the same thing could happen again. Which is why the country's most prolific striker can't help celebrate every Gers goal without thinking it could be his LAST. Boyd, who went on to make it 151 against Bairns, said: "I don't think I can look too far ahead at this precise moment. "Right now I'm proud to pull on that jersey and run out for Rangers. It means everything to me. "But looking ahead long-term is something I simply can't do. "I do wonder whenever I score if that'll be my last Rangers goal. "I hope it's not the case and I believe I have plenty more Rangers goals in me. But that's the reality. "The January transfer window is fast approaching. I aim to add to my tally but I take every game one at a time these days. The club tried to sell me once, so who is to say it won't happen again? "You never know what's around the corner. It's the same for everyone at the club. From the manager down, nobody knows what's happening behind the scenes. "It's actually something which makes me really appreciate getting to 150 league goals in the SPL. It's a good achievement for me." Boyd shrugs off defenders easily, but his critics are harder to get rid of. Despite those 151 SPL goals, he still divides opinion like few other players in the country. The accusation is that he can't hack it against bigger and better teams at home and in Europe. The missed chance against Stuttgart in the last Champions League defeat gave them ammunition. But Boyd added: "To be brutally honest I feel I was written off even before I was given a chance. "Everyone seemed to have an opinion about me. It's like when people say I can't perform in the big games. Why can't I? Advertisement "Sure, I've missed chances when we've played in Europe and against Celtic, but for me that proves nothing. "If I was walking off these games without getting those chances, I'd be worried. "But it's basically been bad finishing that's stopped the goals coming in the bigger games. I know I can score goals at any level, it's not a problem for me. "Stuttgart, Seville, Celtic - I've had chances against them all. Going right back to the beginning, I missed one against Villarreal. "I might have missed when it's mattered, but I can handle that. Getting the opportunities proves to me I can handle it at that level. "On another night I could have scored twice against Stuttgart. I just don't think of the missed chances, I think of the chances I get on the end of." There is no doubt Boyd has improved his all-round game in recent months. His hold-up play is ten times better, with the striker now not just satisfied when he's scoring goals. He added: "Since I've come here my scoring record has been good. I've had my ups and downs like everyone else, but I feel that I've started to find some decent form. "I'm enjoying my football and really feel as though I'm helping the team out a lot more. "I believe I've grown up a lot in the last few months. "Maybe there was a time when I felt goals were enough, but that's not the way it is. The most important thing is the team winning and being a team player. "Maybe completing my coaching badges helped me in that regard. "Maybe I've got away with it in the past because I've scored the amount of goals I have - but I really don't think some of the criticism has been fair. "The way football is in this country there are so many people out there with an opinion looking to make a name for themselves. "When it comes from ex-players it's disappointing. "One person says I can't play up front on my own, for instance, and then another person jumps on that. All of a sudden it's public opinion. "That's the way Scotland is these days. People write you off before you're given a proper chance. "The fact is I've never doubted I could handle playing at the highest level - it was just about working harder to show that." Boyd's 17th minute strike against Falkirk, his 150th in the SPL, seems a long time since he netted his first for Kilmarnock back in November 2001 against Motherwell. He added: "Getting that first goal was a big thing for me. "I'm sure Alan Mahood played a ball down the line and someone cut it back for me to score. "There is nothing better than walking off the park having helped the team win by scoring a goal or two. "It's no different from the way the fans feel. Whenever I score at Ibrox I look up and know I've made 50,000 feel happy. That's a great thing to be able to do." Now Boyd's next target is Henrik Larsson's record 158 SPL goals. He added: "I want to be the top goalscorer in the SPL. I want to beat Larsson's record. "He was a tremendous player, a talent everyone admired. There's no doubt he was one of the greatest ever to play in Scotland. "If I could beat his tally, it'd be something special for me." http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/spl/2760431/I-fear-every-goal-I-score-will-be-my-last.html
  17. I know Hateley hasn't made many friends with some of his columns about us in recent times, but I think he's speaking a lot of sense in his latest one. From today's Daily Record:
  18. Right Gav Driving home from work on Sunday night, just after 11pm. Going about 35mph, so was the car in front of me. Stopped at traffic lights, police stop at the traffic lights coming the opposite way. We set off again once the lights turn to green, look in my rear view mirror and the police are turning round, so i slow down to 30mph. They come speeding right up my arse, put their lights on. So i pull in to the petrol garage that is 50 yards up the road. Get out the car, policeman says " no need to worry mate, just checking who is on the roads tonight" He seen my work polo shirt and asked " take it your on your way from home from work" "yeah i finished at 11, work for Renfrewshire Cabs" " no bother will let you go " he said I replied with " aye no worries mate, no how it all works with young drivers etc" I was stopped before by the police, they were saying i went through a red light when i clearly never. Don't know if any of you's know Paisley at all, but driving along the high street past the museum you get to a set of lights to go down storie street. I was sitting there as they are at red. I can't go straight on as it's a one way, which is the high street coming up from new street. So that set of lights works individaully. Although the lights i was sitting at work with the lights of the traffic coming up storie street going onto the high street, you cant turn right as it's one way. So i was going down storie street while the police are going up up, they turn at the top of the road then pull me over on causeyside street saying i went through a red light. I was adament i never, they were talking about 3 points on my license etc, but then they spoke between themselves and said i was a lucky boy and would let me away with it this time. I just have to take my details to the station to prove that i am a driver. Are you's instructed to keep an eye on young drivers Gav ?
  19. Wigan chairman Dave Whelan says Marlon King will never play for the club again after he was jailed for 18 months. The striker, 29, was found guilty of sexual assault and actual bodily harm after he had been "cold-shouldered" by a female student in a London nightclub. The incident occurred last December while he was on loan at Hull. Whelan told BBC Radio 5 live: "We will now be in the process of severing his contract. To say the least I am really, really disappointed." Whelan, who only learned on Tuesday that King was on trial at Southwark Crown Court, must follow Premier League rules and pay the player's wages for 14 days before terminating his contract. The Latics chairman went on: "It's really upsetting and it just sets such a bad example for any youngster coming through who wants to be a professional footballer. "He was on loan at the time to Hull City but I don't blame Hull City. Marlon King has got to accept full responsibility for this." After groping and punching his victim at the Soho Revue Bar, breaking her nose, King briefly returned to Hull before spending a subsequent spell on loan at Middlesbrough in January. The father of three, born in Dulwich, south London, finally made his way back to Wigan in the summer, but is now left without a club. In 2002 King, who lives in Hertfordshire, served five months of a two-year prison sentence for handling a stolen car before being released on appeal. A year later, he was convicted for common assault on two women he chased through London with a belt wrapped round his fist. And in 2006 he was convicted of threatening behaviour after slapping another woman and then spitting at her when police arrived. Whelan explained how King had kept the club in the dark about the most recent, and most severe misdemeanour. "It's been kept quite secret by the player. We knew he did something but we didn't know exactly what it was. When you read how serious it was, I mean striking a girl and breaking her nose and messing about like that, we didn't realise the severity of what was happening here. Marlon King The jury returned a 10-2 majority guilty verdict against King "We knew he'd been charged with something but I was shocked by what he had actually done and I was shocked by the sentence. But if he deserves it then he's got to do it. "I sat down with Marlon at the start of the season and said 'Marlon, if you want to play for Wigan Athletic you've got to settle down, train hard and go on the field and give your best.' "He never mentioned anything about this case and he promised me that he was going to train hard and he actually has trained hard, I have to say that. "Once he's served his sentence, if he manages to get back into football, so be it, but he will never pull on the shirt of Wigan Athletic again." However, King's agent Tony Finnegan, the former Crystal Palace pro, said the player was certain to find employment with another club after serving his sentence. Finnegan told BBC Radio 5 live: "He has rights as a professional athlete. When you are a footballer you want to play football. Let's say he does his time and comes out afterwards. Do you expect him to work for McDonalds? Someone - you trust me on this - will sign him to score goals King's agent Tony Finnigan "Let's say he does his time and comes out afterwards. Do you expect him to work for McDonald's? Someone - you trust me on this - will sign him to score goals, because that's what he does best. "He'll be devastated sitting in a cell with someone tonight. This ain't a movie, this is real life. No-one expected this." Chris Powell, chairman of the Professional Footballers Association, told the BBC: "There is a process and Dave Whelan has made it clear that is a process he will follow, in that Marlon will be given formally 14 days' notice. "Like any other player he will be given the right of appeal. The grounds Wigan will probably be pursuing is bringing the club into disrepute and gross misconduct, and I think that will be seen to be the case." Bobby Barnes, deputy chief executive of the PFA, added: "The clubs rules would say that this constitutes gross misconduct. "He's been convicted of a criminal offence and most right-minded people would find it difficult not to constitute that as gross misconduct so I think they would be on firm ground to make that decision." King, a Jamaica international, started his professional career with Barnet, before moving to Gillingham. He next signed for Nottingham Forest, who briefly loaned him out to Leeds United, before making his Premier League debut with Watford in the 2006-07 season. In January 2008, he made his move to Wigan for an initial �£3m on a three-and-a-half year contract with a �£40,000-a-week salary. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/w/wigan_athletic/8332728.stm
  20. From the Sun RANGERS legend Andy Goram last night opened his heart on Fergus McCann's sensational bid to sign him for CELTIC. Goram - whose explosive new book The Goalie: My Story is serialised in the Scottish Sun this week - was left staggered by the Canadian tycoon's attempt to lure him to the Hoops a decade ago. And he told SunSport: "The truth is it could never have happened, no matter how much that eccentric little Canadian might have wanted it to. "I just could NOT have done it. "McCann was willing to take the flak and sign me for Celtic because I'd left Rangers and was an affordable, experienced option for him. "But me a Celtic player? Don't think so." The then Parkhead supremo's secret approach for Goram was made to football agent Bill McMurdo who had brokered Mo Johnston's history-making move to Rangers a decade earlier. Then McMurdo helped make ex-Hoops star Johnston Gers' first high-profile Catholic signing but he knew Goram to Celtic was always a non-starter. McMurdo confessed: "I have to say that at first I thought Fergus was winding me up. "But I sound found out that he was deadly serious. He saw Goram as a free agent with vast experience who could add to what Celtic had at the time. "Look, Andy was free - and for Fergus that meant the price was right! He asked me to put it to Goram and I did as I was instructed to but I always knew what the answer was going to be. "Andy ended up a Motherwell player soon after that and no one ever knew about Fergus' move - until now. "Johnston to Rangers was a deal no one will ever forget. "I think we can safely say that Goram to Celtic would have been in the same category. "Whilst there was a way to make the deal with Maurice work I don't think Celtic fans could ever have accepted Andy. He broke their hearts too many times." Advertisement Goram has watched current Gers star Kenny Miller play on both sides of the divide. But in his hard-hitting new autobiography he insists it's a move he could NEVER have contemplated. He stressed: "I am a Rangers man, and in my eyes Rangers men don't play for Celtic. "Did I hate Celtic when we played them? Yes, of course I did. "I ran out of the tunnel detesting the sight of them, and even now I hate it when I see Rangers players cuddling Celtic players. "Kenny's decision was his to make but it is something that I simply could not have done. "In the same way that you can never picture say Peter Grant in a Rangers shirt I think it is hard to see me in a Celtic jersey." A TRUE legend
  21. Borrowed from another forum : DANIEL Prodan spent two and a half years at Ibrox and never got to wear a Rangers jersey in the first team. But his boy is more than making up for that disappointment. In fact, the former Romanian international's son Razvan is so Rangers daft Prodan has a tough time getting a Light Blue shirt off his back at bedtime. Razvan may be just 10 but already knows who he will support all his life. It isn't Steaua Bucharest, where his dad started a career that saw him win 54 caps. It certainly isn't Unirea Urziceni, the Romanian top dogs who visit Scotland on Tuesday in the Champions League. Not when they are coming to take on Rangers. Young Prodan might not remember much of his time in Glasgow but knows he was born there and that his dad, despite a serious knee injury killing his Rangers career, loved the club. That is enough for Razvan - and why there is no question of where his loyalty will lie next week. Daniel, now 37 and working as sporting director with the Romanian FA, laughs at the thought of just how Rangers-mad his boy has become. Prodan said: "Yes, it's true. Razvan was born in Scotland during my time at Rangers and has always followed the team because of that. When we were in Glasgow last year he bought a Rangers strip with Barry Ferguson's name on the back. He's never got it off. "Last week a crew from Romanian TV came to our house and Razvan told them he was born in Glasgow and wanted Rangers to win the games against Unirea. The reporter asked him why and he said, 'because I was born in Scotland, I'm Scottish'!" Prodan senior believes his son will be kept happy on Tuesday because he reckons Rangers will rack up a home win against Unirea. But the former Steaua and Atletico Madrid stopper, who was signed from the La Liga club by Dick Advocaat for �£2.2million in 1998 but arrived with knee ligament damage that never healed properly, reckons Walter Smith's men will have a tough time in Bucharest on November 4. The Romanians, coached by Prodan's former international teammate Dan Petrescu, switched the Euro ties to Bucharest because their own stadium isn't up to standard but the lack of home comforts didn't stop them drawing with Stuttgart on the night Rangers lost to Sevilla. Prodan said: "It will be hard for Unirea coming to Glasgow because it's not often the top teams in Europe lose two games in a row at home. "I know from my time in Glasgow how passionate the crowd can be and that will be a test for Petrescu's side. As they showed against Stuttgart, Unirea are capable of giving most teams a good game here in Romania, although anything can happen and I wouldn't rule out a Rangers win over here either. But it won't be easy." The defender, who was eventually freed by Advocaat in February 2001 without playing a first-team game, returned to Romania but managed just 27 games in three seasons before hanging up his boots. And while Prodan's memories of Scotland are tinged with regret over his failure to overcome his knee problems, he told how the friendliness he encountered at Ibrox helped make him feel at home. He said:"It was a difficult period for me because I had four operations on my knee and couldn't play for the team. That was a big disappointment but I'll never forget the kindness of the Rangers fans and Scottish people who were so friendly towards me. "I met some great people at the club, people like John Greig and the kitman Jimmy Bell were so good to me. There will always be a piece of Rangers in my heart." Unirea's spectacular rise from rural also-rans to Romanian champions after years of domination by wealthy Bucharest clubs Dinamo and Steaua has been one of Europe's success stories this season. Prodan is full of admiration for the manner in which Petrescu has built his team and admits loyalties will be divided over the next two Champions League nights, even if his son's aren't. He said: "There are no star names in the Unirea team but they have a very strong group mentality. Actually, their most important player is Dan Petrescu himself. He is an excellent coach, his teams are always very well organised and they play with a real passion. That is why they are always dangerous opponents. "Romanian football is a bit like Scottish football because we need good results in Europe to improve the country's co-efficient. "That leaves me in a difficult position. I want Romanian football to be a strong as possible but at the same time still have a lot of respect for everyone connected with Rangers. "I'll be going to the game in Bucharest with my son and it will be a good chance to catch up with some old friends like John and Jimmy. "However, Rangers must be favourites to win in Glasgow." __________________
  22. BORN in Spain, but educated by a Scottish legend. When Manolo Jimenez walks through the front door at Ibrox tomorrow night, his thoughts will inevitably drift to career mentor Jock Wallace. Sevilla's young coach credits Rangers icon Wallace with rescuing his entire career. Wallace, who led Gers to two Trebles in the 1970s, transformed Jimenez from promising kid to Spanish international. He taught him the pride and passion which had underpinned his own superb successes with Gers. And Jimenez, 45, still falls back on the tips and advice he gleaned from Wallace as he seeks to guide Sevilla to Champions League and La Liga glory. Jimenez told SunSport: "I am what I am in football because of Jock Wallace. He was a legend. "I had many coaches during my playing career, but the man who taught me the most was definitely Jock. "He used to say he couldn't change my nationality and make me a Scot. But he could put a little bit of Scotland into my play. "He changed my style, changed my character and he turned me into an international footballer. "I'll always remember him shouting at the players 'I want champions to play for me. Champions, champions'. "Jock used the word so often he made us feel like champions. "He turned my career around. I became a very powerful and physical left-back with a bad temper, just like the coach! I fought for every ball. "I played football with the same passion Jock had. I guess he passed that Scottish passion on to me." Wallace headed for Sevilla after his second stint as Gers boss ended and Graeme Souness and Walter Smith swept into Ibrox in 1986. He took Ted McMinn to La Liga and became a firm favourite with Sevilla players and fans alike. Jimenez recalled: "Jock arrived here in the 1986-87 season and we had a very young squad at the time. "Some of the players, like myself, had been promoted from the youth team, but Jock wasn't scared to use us. "He made me vice-captain under Antonio Alvarez and I went on to captain Sevilla for ten years. "Jock's spell in Sevilla speaks for itself. Some coaches would never have had the same faith in the young home-grown players. But he stuck with us, he gave us confidence and became so influential in so many of our careers. Seven of the young players, including myself, went on to become Sevilla legends and play for Spain. "The respect we earned throughout the years playing for Sevilla was all thanks to Jock. "People still look at us as legends here and everybody knows that Jock was the man who made us believe in ourselves." Advertisement Click here Jimenez ensured his personal debt to Wallace did not go unrewarded when he made his Spain debut. Rather than swapping his red shirt with an opponent, he hid it away and gifted it to the former Gers boss. He added: "Sometimes Jock was a very authoritarian person with rules. He always made it clear he was the boss. "He was a very impatient person on the bench and used to shout at us a lot and tell us not to lose our concentration during the match. "But as a person outside of the pitch, Jock was a friend for us and I remembered him very fondly. "He came to see my debut for Spain in Sevilla against Argentina in 1988. It was a very special game for me because it was my international debut in front of all the Sevilla fans. "I remember it very well because Jock had bought a house in Fuengirola and he had travelled back to Sevilla to watch me playing with Spain. I was honoured. "Usually at the end of the game, players exchange jerseys with the opponents, but I didn't want to swap my jersey with an Argentinian player. "I decided the jersey should go to Jock, so I sprinted to the dressing room to avoid any embarrassing moments with an Argentinian player. "I knew Jock was in the stands at the Sanchez Pizjuan stadium and I wanted badly to give my shirt to him. "It was a symbolic gesture towards him, but for me it was simply a very humble way to thank him for all the confidence and time he took to help me as a footballer. "I still remember that moment with goosebumps and I'll always remember what Jock did for me." Not all of Jimenez's memories of his former gaffer are as fond as that emotional night in Sevilla. Like so many stars, he fell foul of the legendary Wallace temper after breaking a late-night curfew. He said: "I remember Jock at his best when he were away on a pre-season trip to a small village called Estella outside of Pamplona. "It was the day of the annual festival in Estella and Jock gave us the afternoon off to relax. "A few of us went down to join the celebrations and Jock had laid on a bus to bring us home at 11pm. "Of course, four players - myself, Rafa Paz, Ramon Vazquez and Jesus Choya - missed the bus. "We had strayed about eight kilometres away and basically had to jog and walk all the way back to the team hotel. "We tried to sneak in a back door, but Jock was hiding behind a big chair in the lobby and he caught us. "He chased after us through the lobby and was shouting at us and trying to hit us. He was furious. "We all knew we had let him down. We learned our lesson and we never did anything so stupid again. "Now I can't wait for this game against Rangers at Ibrox because of my own special association with Jock." http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/sport/spl/2657064/Ive-got-the-passion-of-a-Scot.html
  23. Is it time to accept that, trier though he may be, this guy simply isn't good enough to wear the shirt? Woeful again today.
  24. NATIONAL CURRY CONTEST If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no Hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July.It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy. CHILI #2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uraniums pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting p*ssed from all the beer. CHILI # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chili peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them. CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to $h1t myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my a$$ with a snow cone ice-cream. CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably). Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry? Judge # 3 - No Report, currently receiving CPR.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.