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  1. Now the transfer window is speedily approaching time to catch op on the transfer Gossip. TEVEZ WANTS TO STAY West Ham's sulky Argentine striker Carlos Tevez says he wants to stay at the club - not surprisingly, as FIFA rules actually prevent him playing for another team thus season. He stormed out of Upton Park last weekend after being substituted but insists he's ready to play under new owner Eggert Magnusson. "If the new owner wanted me to leave, that is what I would have to do," admitted Tevez. "I'd respect what he wanted as it's his club, but I'd prefer that he and manager Alan Pardew wanted to keep me." Meanwhile; West Ham are the latest club to be linked with West Brom's Curtis Davies, who is expected to be sold in January. The Sun says that the Hammers will make a �£5m move for the England Under-21 centre-half. CHELSEA RIGHT BACK AT YOU... It remains their problem position - with Paulo Ferreira struggling to convince, Khalid Boulahrouz preferring to play at centre-half and Geremi little more than a stop-gap measure. Micah Richards is one name that keeps cropping up, but The Independent suggest Jose Mourinho is likely to look to the continent. The names in the frame are Seville's Daniel Alves and Valencia's Miguel, who also replaced Ferreira in the Portuguese national team. Miguel told a Portuguese newspaper: "Chelsea is Chelsea. It's good to know that they're interested in my game if the news is true. I'm very satisfied to hear that, I really am." PAVON TO LIVERPOOL Real Madrid defender Francisco Pavon is being strongly linked with a move to Liverpool, who could get him for just �£500,000 in January as he is out of contract next summer. The rumours started in the Spanish press on Thursday and have been picked up by the Daily Mirror on Friday. The 26-year-old is clearly not in the plans of Real boss Fabio Capello. AND THE REST Celtic could make a move for Falkirk star Anthony Stoke,s who is on loan from Arsenal...Blackburn are ready to make a move for Liverpool left-back Stephen Warnock...Watford have hinted that they're ready to cash in on Ashley Young...Aston Villa's list of transfer targets includes Jermain Defoe, Robbie Keane and possibly Craig Bellamy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Celtic consider Stokes bid Celtic have confirmed talks have been held with Arsenal regarding a potential bid for Anthony Stokes. The striker is currently on loan at Falkirk, who are hoping to hang on to the Irish teenager until the end of the season. But Falkirk could be gazumped by the SPL champions after Celtic's chief scout Ray Clarke revealed the club are nearing a decision on a bid for Stokes. Gordon Strachan recently praised the 18-year-old prior to the CIS Insurance Cup meeting between the two sides in which Stokes scored. And Strachan could now use the money from the January sale of Stephen Pearson to fund a bid for Stokes, who has netted 13 goals for Falkirk. Clarke told the Daily Record: "What we said to them (Arsenal) was that we would watch Anthony Stokes on four or five occasions and then make our decision. "To be fair to the lad, we've just about done that, and my understanding is we'll maybe have one more good look at him in action. "Once the Champions League group campaign is over with next week's final match in Copenhagen, we'll sit down on all our activities and the manager will decide the way ahead."
  2. Smart Ass answer number 2 has to be my favourite. SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
  3. chris burke is doing a shaun maloney and holding out for more money. talks between the club have come to an abrupt halt and the winger will weigh up his options at the transfer window. Personally i think, as good as burke is he is far to injury prone to be holding us to ransom. He has hardly featured over the last 2 seasons and has a bit of a cheek to be shouting the odds. In the end if he doesnt want to play for us he can go asap.
  4. On the 10th of February, David Murray did a lot of talking. He talked of the future, and of how rosey things would be in the garden. During that interview, he uttered the following line : Quote: when we make the changes, and if people are not happy, then protest all you want Why then, now that things aren't so rosey, is he using every means at his disposal, to silence those who wish to criticise him ? Murray Pledges A 'Moonbeam' To Banish Long Dark Season Of Despair : Evening Times - Darrell King 10/02/06 Ibrox Crisis : Rangers chief broke his silence after fan protests forced him to declare his hand early. For a man who likes to think of Rangers as his family, clearly being attacked from those within his inner circle was just too much. The 300 fans who protested outside Ibrox after last week's Scottish Cup defeat to Hibs, and the dozen or so who unfurled a 'Murray Out' banner at Pittodrie before Wednesday night's defeat, may have been small in number. But David Murray sensed a major fall-out was on the way - something that may even have ended in damaging feuding or even acrimonious divorce. When the final whistle blew in Aberdeen, Rangers yet again on the end of a defeat, the Ibrox owner and chairman knew it was time to act. Today he has called for unity behind his decision to reveal that his embattled manager, Alex McLeish, will go at the end of the season. In his own inimitable style, Murray also rolled out the big guns - a new manager is more or less in place, huge investment is on the way to fund his rebuilding of this pitiful Rangers line-up and the club is making record amounts of cash. Like the head of the family calling everyone around the table, he has spoken. Now he wants the Rangers support to prepare themselves for what he will bring to that very table - and if they are not pleased, he says they can protest all they like. Murray said : "The fans have been very supportive, but they want to see direction. My job is to get to the bottom of our problems and get this sorted out. I will leave no stone unturned. I am working very hard with Martin Bain to bring all these deals together and bring the direction this club needs. Rangers should not be divided. Yes, we are annoyed, yes, we are upset at results - but we must stick together. That (protests) is not Rangers' way. I understand people have the right to stand outside and protest. But Rangers do things another way, not like that. That's why I meet the Trust, the Assembly, we do it by talking." "It is people's entitlement. It does not sway me, nor does it put me off - I will still do my job to the very best. I can understand 300 people getting bloody annoyed if they felt there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel - but there is a massive moonbeam of success waiting for us. People must accept there are legal issues, stock exchange issues, timing factors - but this will happen. And when we make the changes, and if people are not happy, then protest all you want - but big plans are on the way for Rangers." Of course, it has taken the combination of the horrendous results and performances against Hibs and Aberdeen to prompt action from the chairman. Clearly, with an Old Firm game looming, he has attempted to throw a bucket of water over what was a simmering situation developing between the rightly frustrated fans and those they follow all over the land. Maybe Murray should have acted sooner. Maybe, looking at things now, it has strengthened the argument that McLeish should have been removed during the shocking run of results in the autumn and early winter months. But loyalty has always been Murray's closest friend. Now he wants his support to put more faith in the man who has been the custodian of their club for 18 years. There is no doubt that his stock is at an all-time low in the eyes of many, but these are not false statements - a new dawn is on the way. "We all have degrees in hindsight, " Murray conceded, "Perhaps I should have spoken after the transfer window. But, after not being able to win for 10 matches, we were undefeated in 10 matches, and sometimes it's best left alone. However, after the indifferent performances of the week, it had to be said. I had to let the fans know we have been working on plans for a long time. There is going to be a major financial input to the club, there is now going to be a new manager and a new structure. I am disappointed it's come to this as we are about to announce very strong financial figures. The club is on a great financial footing after having a difficult time - we are going through record turnover." ED
  5. Emailed to me by a friend. Liverpool are lining up a fresh intake of loan players in the January transfer window? Apparently their targets are Jason Euell (Middlesbrough) and Phil Neville (Everton). They are also interested in trialling John Wark's son, and will take him on a month's loan from Aberdeen (I think). Rafael Benitez said the fans inspired him to try to recruit all these three when they sang: "Euell, Neville, Wark on loan"
  6. GORDON STRACHAN is preparing to spend any Celtic Euro windfall on Hibs midfielder Scott Brown. The Parkhead manager will get additional funds in the January transfer window if he can steer his side into the Champions League knock-out stages. Celtic will bank around �£3m if they progress from their group. They will earn more than �£1.2m for reaching the last 16 and would also have a home gate and extra sponsorship revenue to boost the coffers. Even finishing third, and going into the Uefa Cup, would guarantee extra funds that they didn't originally bank on so Strachan, who didn't spend his entire budget in the summer, will be rewarded. Chairman Brian Quinn said yesterday at the agm that funds could be available in January. And the Hoops boss has identified the Scotland star as the player he would most like to add to his squad. SportTimes understands Strachan has asked to be kept updated on the player's situation between now and the turn of the year. Old Firm rivals Rangers are also known to be admirers, but Paul Le Guen might not have enough funds to come close to Hibs' asking price, which is thought to be around �£3m. Brown is thought to favour a move to Ibrox over Parkhead, but he would be around familiar faces at Celtic with former Hibs team-mates Derek Riordan and Garry Caldwell already in Strachan's squad. Strachan is desperate to be the first manager to take Celtic into the last 16 of the Champions League, something Martin O'Neill failed to achieve in his time at Parkhead. And he knows the extra money from achieving such a feat could be put to good use as he continues to fill his squad with young talent. Celtic already look good for finishing in the top two of their Champions League section. Wins at home over FC Copenhagen and Benfica have put them in a healthy position at halfway. Signing Brown to the club would hand him a massive boost as he strives to put a Celtic side out on the park that has energy, determination and pace. The midfielder has been a huge influence on the Hibs side that played entertaining football under Tony Mowbray, before he quit to take over West Brom. Strachan is expected to remain tight-tipped on his plans for January as he knows there is plenty of interest in the player from down south as well as Rangers, but he is certainly on his short-list of targets. I would be sick if this happened. Hopefully he learns a lesson from Riorden. Surely if Brown wants to come to us we and we are interested in signing him, Murray will make the cash available for one of Scotlands best talents. The same should go for Gorden,we should go to all odds to get one of Britains top keepers for years to come. Come on Murray spending now for the future can create money not throw us back into debt.
  7. How Would You Like To Be Bill Clinton's Friend? How would you like to be Bill Clinton's friend? The following is a list of dead people connected with Bill Clinton: James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr's investigation. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock's Rose Law Firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head, ruled suicide. He also had another 22 gunshot wound in the neck. The gunshot wound to the head was of larger caliber and found still in his hand!! Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death, Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors. C. Victor Raiser II & Montgomery Raiser - Major players in the Clinton fund-raising organization. Died in a private plane crash in July 1992. Paul Tulley - Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992. Described by Clinton's a "Dear friend and trusted advisor". Ed Willey - Clinton fund raiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods in Virginia of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events. Jerry Parks - Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park's son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house. James Bunch - Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a "Black Book" of people containing names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas. James Wilson - Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide. He was reported to have ties to Whitewater. Kathy Ferguson - Ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson. Died in May 1994. She was found dead in her living room with a gunshot to her head. It was ruled a suicide although there were several packed suitcases, as if she was going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a co- defendant along with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit. Kathy Ferguson was a possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones. Bill Shelton - Arkansas State Trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead in June, 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the gravesite of his fiancee. Gandy Baugh - Attorney for Clinton friend Dan Lassater. Died by jumping out a window of a tall building January, 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor. One of Clinton's last duties as Governor of Arkansas was to pardon Dan Lassater convicted on over a hundred drug charges. Florence Martin - Accountant sub-contractor for the CIA related to the Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. Died of three gunshot wounds. Suzanne Coleman - Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head, ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death. Paula Grober - Clinton's speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one-car accident. Danny Casolaro - Investigative reporter. Investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparent suicide in the middle of his investigation. Paul Wilcher - Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 "October Surprise" was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington D.C. apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet Reno 3 weeks before his death. Jon Parnell Walker - Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August 15, 1993. Was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal. Barbara Wise - Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her bruised nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce. Charles Meissner - Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash. Dr. Stanley Heard - Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee. Died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash. Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton's advisory council, personally treated Clinton's mother, stepfather and brother. Barry Seal - Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas, death was no accident. Johnny Lawhorn Jr. - Mechanic, found a check made out to Clinton in the trunk of a car left in his repair shop. Died when his car hit a utility pole. Stanley Huggins - Suicide. Investigated Madison Guarantee. His report was never released. Hershell Friday - Attorney and Clinton fundraiser. Died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded. Kevin Ives & Don Henry - Known as "The boys on the track" case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport drug operation. Controversial case where initial report of death was due to falling asleep on railroad track. Later reports claim the 2 boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury. THE FOLLOWING SIX PERSONS HAD INFORMATION ON THE IVES / HENRY CASE: Keith Coney - Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a truck July, 1988. Keith McMaskle - Died of 113 stabbed wounds, November 1988. Gregory Collins - Died from a gunshot wound January 1989. Jeff Rhodes - He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April 1989. James Milan - Found decapitated. Coroner ruled death due to natural causes. Jordan Kettleson - Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990. Richard Winters - Was a suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. Was killed in a set-up robbery July 1989. THE FOLLOWING CLINTON BODYGUARDS ARE DEAD: Major William S. Barkley Jr. Captain Scott J. Reynolds Sgt. Brian Hanley Sgt. Tim Sabel Major General William Robertson Col. William Densberger Col. Robert Kelly Spec. Gary Rhodes Steve Willis Robert Williams Conway LeBleu Todd McKeehan Monica got away lightly just giving him a gobble. Maybe the rest would still be alive if they done the same.
  8. seems derby are showing an interest and could be putting in a bid at the winter transfer window. they have already made inquiries at ibrox and if the price is right they will get their man. i would take the money in this case as i feel buffel flatters to decieve at times. he looked a good prospect when he came but i dont think hes fullfilled his potential. scored a great goal yesterday but he misses easir chances on a regular basis. dont think he deserved mom yesterdeay either.
  9. Aberdeen are set to swoop for Rangers midfielder Gavid Rae during the January transfer window. (Daily Record) Anyone know anymore about this story? I know he is a Aberdeen lad and supporter so he might fancy it. He would give them a decent midfield with Barry Nicholson (Ex Ger) and Severin. I find him a decent squad player but no more but I would still like to see him get a few games until Clement comes back.
  10. How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game. What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs. Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
  11. Meantime, reports in Austria today are claiming Le Guen has targeted Sturm Graz left-winger Christoph Leitgeb in a �£500,000 January transfer- window deal. The 21 year-old - currently on duty with the Austrian national team - has been watched by several British clubs and confirmed he has been made aware of an interest from Rangers. Graz have serious financial problems and would not be able to turn down any realistic offers should Le Guen pursue his interest in the player. Publication date 05/10/06
  12. gisabeer

    joke

    A woman goes to see her doctor. she sits down in his office and tells him she got a smelly fanny. the doctor tells the woman to take off her knickers and open her legs and he kneels down and has a right good wiff of her genatils. Bloody hell missus, your not kidding there! he hollers. The doctor stands up, pauses for a moment, tells the woman not to move and leaves the room. He returns a few moments later with a 4 foot pole with a hook on the end. "Your not sticking that up me" cries the horrified woman to the doctor. No replies the Doctor, im going to open a window, its fucking stinking in here!
  13. If I was a betting man..... put your money on Scott Brown signing in the January transfer window.
  14. Jon

    Joke

    Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her grandmother that the policemen were passing out free oranges, and she was just lining up for some. "Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line. The policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back, and suck them dry." The policeman fainted! A man and his wife go to bed on their wedding anniversary, he whispers to her, “Can we try something kinky tonight”? She turns to look at him and asks, “What do you have in mind”? He says “Can I put my cock in your ear”? She replied “But it might make me go deaf”, her husband said “Well I’ve been coming in your mouth for the last 20 years and it hasn’t stopped you talking”! (that one is for the Wicker ) A guy in a pink shirt minces into a gay bar and looks around weighing up the talent. He spots a well built scouser having a quiet drink at the bar, sidles up to him, nudges him gently and whispers "Can I take you into the gents and give a blow job ?" The scouser spins round, punches him in the nose, kicks him in the bollucks, picks him up and throws him through the bar window. "Bloody hell scouse" says the barman, "What was all that about?" "I dunno - he said something about a job!"
  15. that was as strong a side as i could have put out today and we still lost. I had no complaints with leguens starting line up but yet agian we have fallen to a pretty average septic team. The bottom line is that our squad is not good enough. It doesnt matter which permitation you come up with out of the current crop, you couldnt pick 11 players who could be the main stay in the first eleven through the season. Leguen had plenty of time to look at the previous Rangers squad but bar clement he has failed to strengthen the sqaud. Letizi is by far our worst keeper, svensen (who came with a good pedigree) has failed to deliver on all fronts and martin, who promised to shine at the start of the season along with sionko have dissapeared up there own arses. Bardsley in my eyes is no better than hutton who sold the jerseys today by playing the ball back into the ruck of players instead of lumping up the park for the first goal. Rodreigez, a player who i have never rated is another who can walk with them too. Leguen has got his work cut out with this lot and i just hope we can keep in touch till the january window. Untill then i fear ill be watching us through the gaps in my fingers yet again for yet another bloody season. GET THE CHEQUE BOOK OUT MURRAY BECAUSE THIS LOT ARE SHIT!
  16. Man, isn't it quiet on hear just now! The transfer window is closed and we've not seen any Gers action for nearly two weeks. What is there to talk about. How about a good poll to get us thinking. Who do you want as the preferred striking partnership this season?
  17. Well I posted a pic from Football Manager in the Papac thread earlier and it got me thinking, before we moved forums, the Football Manager thread was the 2nd most popular behind the Totty Thread (no shame in it).. so thought I'd see if folk like colshy and chris were still into it. I got bored shitless of it, then got an update today with all the Transfer Window shit done on it, so made me wanna play it again. I'm bland, I went Rangers to see the new folk etc. and I'm really into it again. Thought it'd be a challenge to see if I could use PLG's formation and make it work, so here's the team, sorry the pic's so small, didn't wanna hog space. Bigger version: http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/853/gersxilf4.jpg With it being updated and all, found this funny.. Still dosen't cease to amaze me. Hearts are really good in this.. top after 12 games, even though I beat them 3-1 at Tynecastle on the opening day and 5-1 at Ibrox just there. I feared Celtic would walk it with JVOH etc. but they're mediocre.. brushed aside 1-0 at Ibrox with a Jeremy Clement header. Lovely. So aye, with FM2007 coming out in October.. thought I'd try to get back into the swing of things.. am I the only oen still playing away at this? The missus being away to see Robbie Williams the night also gave me encouragement to get stuck into it Here's the update, all of the summer shit done.. http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.ph...CCF7A01340F340 Edit: Here's a kind of version 2 of this update, it fixes the "join dates" of Gravesen, Tevez, Mascherano, Anelka and so on and stops them wanting to leave right away. http://rapidshare.de/files/31749021/Scene-united_020906.zip.html This ones a bit harder to update. When you open up the RAR file, there'll be a bunch of files. Go into: My Computer/C: Drive/Program Files/Sports Interactive/Football Manager 2006/data/db Then keep that open, and drag all the files from the RAR folder into there, and it'll ask if you want to over-write, just click "Yes to all".
  18. I'll be delighted when this bloody window closes maybe then we can get back to 'sensible' posts instead of some of the pish that's been posted on here in the last few days - example Kris Boyd at Glasgow Airport. It's the sort of stuff you see all the time on the BBC boards. Leave it to the kids on there to do. Mini rant over
  19. Vaguely remember being linked with him last year, dont know too much about him though
  20. Administering the result. Thatââ?¬â?¢s what the Italians call it. Maybe if we hadnââ?¬â?¢t been wearing Monaco strips - maybe if weââ?¬â?¢d stuck to the Azzurri home tops weââ?¬â?¢d somehow have been able to see out the second of the leads we took in Ayrshire today. But then again, Big Dado once knocked in four goals in twenty three minutes of a Champions League match wearing that very strip he wore today, against a Deportivo La Coruna side who traditionally play in a bit of a Killie strip. He couldnââ?¬â?¢t put away two gilt-edged chances today. But then again, we have two deep-lying midfielders in our new formation, supposedly to give us a way of bolting tight shut our defence in the event of, say, trying to hang onto a 1-goal lead with four minutes to go. But then again, again, Dado did set up both Kris Boydââ?¬â?¢s goals, is an all-round legend without whom weââ?¬â?¢d be nothing and - geeze a break! - weââ?¬â?¢re only five games intae the season, the first season of a new regime, and the transfer window isnae even shut yet. Paul Le Guenââ?¬â?¢s still sketching the outline of his master plan and thereââ?¬â?¢s plenty of evidence that itââ?¬â?¢ll be a seriously impressive work when complete. To be only one point off the top and still unbeaten in such circumstances - without Barry Ferguson - is pretty much as good as you can hope for. Give Killie their due - they fought and fought and, apparently, had a pair oââ?¬â?¢ fair shouts for penalties before the one they eventually got. I say ââ?¬Å?apparentlyââ?¬Â because my Ã?£23.00 today bought me a dollââ?¬â?¢s house furniture-sized seat in the second-front row of the Chadwick Stand. Thatââ?¬â?¢s the subterranean area of the ground. Iââ?¬â?¢d been approached by a policeman before the game as I slinked up a side street to shove in my contacts - the constable thought I was popping some sort of drug. If only I was that interesting and if only Iââ?¬â?¢d taken a periscope instead of some disposable soft lenses. The first half seemed to be going okay because Allan McGregor, stood almost above me, touched the ball about twice, most of the Rangers team and Kilmarnock players spent most of the opening 45 down at the other end, almost out of eye-shot and all the Gers fans in the Moffat stand stood up and cheered at one point. I think we were winning 1-0 at half-time. To be honest, it was great to be so close to the action - well, to the pitch. This is why going to games beats the TV every time - even if your viewââ?¬â?¢s shit, you still feel more involved. Even, ironically, if you donââ?¬â?¢t know whatââ?¬â?¢s happening because all you can see up the other end of the pitch is a mass of legs from the knees up, you have a goalie right in front of you who could hear every bit of abuse or encouragement you decided to throw his way. Hey - youââ?¬â?¢re making a difference, man. The Killie keeper decided he wasnââ?¬â?¢t taking any chances today - heââ?¬â?¢d read all about Artur Boruc - so he wore an orange top. Low and behold, my aunt, uncle and wee cuz were in the row behind me, along a wee bit. They had a spare seat for the second half and I completed the first misfortune of their day by joining them. Too bad I slipped back a row - being second from the front, I was determined to do one of those things ye always see front-row punters doing - like clambering over the wall to bear-hug a Rangers scorer or push my fat, bealinââ?¬â?¢ face into a stewardââ?¬â?¢s as I ranted and raved about some trivial tenuous ââ?¬Å?public orderââ?¬Â issue which Iââ?¬â?¢d got confused with the fact my team chucked away a late equaliser. Once I eventually found my seat in the massive game of Sudoko which is Rugby Park - only every fith or sixth seat has a number on it so if youââ?¬â?¢re in number 67 you have to look all round for a 70 or a 63, say, and then start counting - my main concern was getting plenty of reasons to jump up and down, because Kilmarnock FC donââ?¬â?¢t provide seats suitable for the more generously proportioned gentleman. On the big screen opposite, McSherry and someone, solicitors were flashing up nicely conceited adverts for ââ?¬Å?getting you out of a tight cornerââ?¬Â but I could have done with their help just to get my knees from under my front teeth after following the edict from another advert to try the Killie pie. I work alongside Frazer Wrightââ?¬â?¢s cousin - a Motherwell fan and a top bloke. Allan would go down to Stair Park to see Mr Wright at the outset of his career and Iââ?¬â?¢d be one of the anoraks most interested in his second-hand, first-hand tales of life in the senior ranks come Monday morning. Frazer was only 40-odd games away from becoming Stranraerââ?¬â?¢s all-time record holder for appearances when he went to Killie, still at the age of 12ish. Iââ?¬â?¢d told his cuz that, had it been me, Iââ?¬â?¢d probably have stayed in the lower divisions to get the record rather than leave for the SPL big time. Thatââ?¬â?¢s because Iââ?¬â?¢m anal - but I wish heââ?¬â?¢d fucking done it, then the bugger wouldnââ?¬â?¢t have equalised against us today. But, despite the misses from Dado, our Croat god plugged away to help create another chance which was again sublimely finished by Kris Goal-Machine Boyd. Ah, the thrill of seeing the ball slipped under the keeper, just a few yards in front of where yer sat. Ahh, the agony of realising the last time ye were this close to the action was at Dunfermline on Boxing Day when - BINGO! - we conceded an injury tme penalty to deny us a victory. Bugger. What IS happening to this Masonic conspiracy???!! I pay good money to keep things ââ?¬Å?on the levelââ?¬Â in Scottish Football! Will someone PLEASE remind the refs Rangers are supposed to be AWARDED last-minute pens. Anyway, Buffel came on and so did Sebo. Sebo looked ineffective and made a very poor choice with our last chance of the game but it was hardly his fault we dropped yet more points in this rebuilding period. Thomas B looks just like Dado these days - able to open up defences at will but unable to be the second natural finisher we need. Just as well Boyd is a preternatural finisher. Bazza, Burkey and even Bardsley will all return and the outline will be completed, the shading applied and the detail detailed. Weââ?¬â?¢ll soon all be able to clearly see a fully realised winning Rangers portrait - even if weââ?¬â?¢re stuck in the first few rows of the Chadwick or Moffatt stands. PS - if yer driving from Glasgow to North Ayrshire on February 11th next year, you could do worse than find yerself parked outside the Bonnyton cafe. Superb bag of chips and a can of coke for Ã?£1.70. Feed yer face as ye listen to the radio reports and the line of traffic which is jamming ye in begins to dwindle. Iââ?¬â?¢ll be needing a giant shoe horn to get me out my Killie seat in the New Year ââ?¬Â¦
  21. ...and saw a burd take down her jeans and undercrackers and proceed to take a piss in the middle of the street. I didn't know where to look (aye, neither I did) or what to do! Shocked but lovin' it!
  22. >What's the definition of the bravest man in the world?? > >The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of >perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: > >"You're next, fatty." >************************ > >A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. > >He asks, "What are you doing?" > >She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid >$400 for doing what I do for you for free." > >Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and >sees her husband packing his suitcase. > >When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too Ã?Æ?Ã?¢Ã?¢'Ã?¬Ã?â?¦" >I want to see how you live on $800 a year". > >***************************** > >A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: > >* 2 litres of low fat milk > >* A carton of eggs > >* 2 litres of orange juice > >* A head of lettuce > >* Half a dozen tomatoes > >* A 500g jar of coffee > >* A 250g pack of bacon > >As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to checkout, a >drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of >the cashier. > >While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly >stated, > >"You must be single." > >The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was >intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. > >She looked at her seven items on the belt and saw nothing particularly >unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to >her marital status. > >Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, >you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" > >The drunk replied, "Because you're ugly." > >***************** > >A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check >tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and >he opened his trench coat and flashed at her. > >Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not >your stub." > >************* > >A blonde was picking her way through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but >she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, >"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" > >The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." > > ******************* > >The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding >rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop >said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." > >When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way >without a ticket. > >******************* > >A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that >reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right >ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. >Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks >to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" >The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of >gas." > >*************************************************************** > >#1 SMART @SS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005....................... > >A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now >class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I >might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or >illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other >excuses whatsoever!" > >A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, >"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete >and utter sexual exhaustion?" > >The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence >was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her >head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with >your other hand."
  23. Gianluca Pessotto the technical manager at Juve is thought to have jumped out of a 15 metres high window. As he was holding his Rosary beads it is thought he tried to take his life. Juve is plagued by a payment scandle at the moment. The Juventos players at the WC have left the Italy camp to visit him in Hospital where he is now out of danger.
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