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Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her grandmother that the policemen were passing out free oranges, and she was just lining up for some. "Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line. The policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back, and suck them dry." The policeman fainted!

 

 

 

A man and his wife go to bed on their wedding anniversary, he whispers to her, “Can we try something kinky tonight”? She turns to look at him and asks, “What do you have in mind”? He says “Can I put my cock in your ear”? She replied “But it might make me go deaf”, her husband said “Well I’ve been coming in your mouth for the last 20 years and it hasn’t stopped you talking”!

(that one is for the Wicker ;):D )

 

 

 

 

A guy in a pink shirt minces into a gay bar and looks around weighing up the talent.

He spots a well built scouser having a quiet drink at the bar, sidles up to him, nudges him gently and whispers "Can I take you into the gents and give a blow job ?"

The scouser spins round, punches him in the nose, kicks him in the bollucks, picks him up and throws him through the bar window.

"Bloody hell scouse" says the barman, "What was all that about?"

"I dunno - he said something about a job!"

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haha agree with gav - one about the ear is by far the best!

 

how about this one though...

 

Two guys at a bar - one turns to the other and goes

 

"You know what? your mothers such a dirty filthy slag - last night i put my dick in her arse, made her suck me off then wiped my cock on her sheets"

 

...other guy turns to him and says ....

 

"think you've had too much to drink dad"

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Guest The_Rock
haha agree with gav - one about the ear is by far the best!

 

how about this one though...

 

Two guys at a bar - one turns to the other and goes

 

"You know what? your mothers such a dirty filthy slag - last night i put my dick in her arse, made her suck me off then wiped my cock on her sheets"

 

...other guy turns to him and says ....

 

"think you've had too much to drink dad"

 

LOL , saw it comin but ;)

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