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Pacific Quay Musings?

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47 minutes ago, 26th of foot said:

Return of the Ginja Ninja.


Recently, Michael has been lamenting his lack of opportunity to spit venom. He has taken to his Twitter account to inform his followers that, "BBC Scotland have not invited me on". These are trying times, Michael has so much hatred to vent and Hunnery is such a big target. RAB Cosgrove has been filling the vacuum, "Gerrard's left before Rangers next Administration", "Rangers are reclaiming history again" and, "that will be Neil McCann no talking to the BBC now". All in the last three weeks, RAB is as reliable as a Hammond organ refrain, filling the middle register. Still, his team have fell to the bottom of the table but it's his Rangers hatred he needs to keep warm.


Neil McCann stymied RAB by appearing on Sportscene the very next night but, we had to wait a further week for the Caped Wonder to fidget on the Sportscene settee. His demand for truth, justice and, the Pacific Quay way was laid bare last Sunday. Rangers had successfully navigated the Rhone savage, leaving Lyon with a credible 1-1 draw to be confronted by the waiting, rested Jambos at Tynecastle. The Pacific Quay way was loaded, again! Paul Mitchell(a Jambo) was commentating, John Robertson(a Jambo) was adding colour and, Michael(Foundation of Hearts member) was waiting on the Sportscene studio couch, prepared to wield the trusty sword of fcukwittery.


On Sportsound, Paul and John had a conversation on Alfredo's goal being offside, Big Dick and Tom Anguish dismissed this notion at half-time. There was agreement on Aribo's goal being sublime and Tom brought comfort, "Hearts started better, Rangers played for four minutes but if Hearts grab the next goal"? The game ended 0-2 and Tom remained fixated on four minutes. Big Dick wanted to know Robbie Neilson's reaction to being denied a stonewaller? They settled on a consensus, an entertaining game but the Referee lost control. We were reminded of the highlights being available later on that evening where the Ginja Ninja would redefine losing control.


On Sportscene, Paul Mitchell's commentary was touched up and Robbo's colour removed. I suspect a semblance of balance was required before broadcast? Richard Foster sat beside the Ginja Ninja as the maroon broadsword was unveiled. The first thrust set the tone, "look, there's no doubt about it, Rangers rode their luck, all the big moments went their way". There was no need to parry and the second swipe carried injustice, "It's about fine margins, such fine margins. It was a frustrating afternoon for Hearts; ah mean ah don't like it but it was a penalty to Hearts". Confidence gained and the cleaving blow ensued, "Nick Walsh lost the plot, flashing yellow cards all over, particularly at Hearts players". Steven Thompson and Richard Foster thought Rangers were deserving of their victory.


We move on to last night and Jane Lewis was hosting Sportsound. Adding colour to the Dingwall commentary was both Pat Bonner and Billy Dodds. Richard Foster was sat upon the PQ Naughty Step. On Sunday, Dodds had been subjected to a RAB tirade. Billy had complained about Morton's provision of Porta-Cabin facilities for his Inverness team stating, "they're manky". RAB was convinced Billy would know 'manky', he is a recipient of an EBT. It makes no difference that Dodds took to Scotland on Sunday some ten years past to declare, "I no longer consider myself a Rangers supporter", he just doesn't have the necessary purity for RAB.


Anyways, it's half-time and we are told Rangers are winning one nil, Morelos the scorer. We then receive a couple of minutes of Sellik commentary, followed by a full time match report of Hearts - Hibs SWPL fixture, then back to Dingwall for more angst on injury ravaged Sellik. Full time, it's more of the same, two - nil Rangers, Kent adding to the scoring. That was the end of it, the next forty minutes until the end of the broadcast was ten man Sellik's determination to win, scoring the winner in the seventh minute of six added minutes. The key word was, "exuberance", the Green Brigade invaded the pitch to, "celebrate". Big Ange, he of AngeBall was interviewed and his first word on the end of match scenes was, "exuberance". Jane and Pat further utilised the word several times. Pacific Quay was exuberant in their liberal usage of 'exuberance'.


I was surprised at Ross County boss, Malky McKay being allowed to broadcast live, "it seemed the Referee was going to allow play to continue until they scored". There was no exuberance at such a remark, it was repeated as often as the Rangers result. The remark that defined the PQ weekend was made(scripted) by Cat Harvey, guest on Off the Ball. There was a discussion about the necessary etiquette of constant Christmas online deliveries and Cat said, "I always bung the delivery driver an Alfredo". RAB guffawed, ah mean laughing at your own scripted jokes? Such was the exuberance, it was repeated, "ah always bung the delivery driver a wee Fredo" to another guffaw.


We know RAB is a PhD in Theatre and Media, but may I suggest the joke would work better if you study Japanese theatre ie Kabuki. The classical diving character is entitled, 'Kyogo' - a right wee cnut of a Furuhashi. 

Oh the BBC banty it would rip the arse from your breeks 

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