Rangers blogger "tapped"

[D'Artagnan 173]

Having read some of the online accusations that some Rangers bloggers had aligned themselves with certain factions within Ibrox, I did feel a bit left out as no-one inside Ibrox, had approached me to be their â??bitchâ?. Perhaps testimony to the impact, or lack thereof, of my blogging.

 

However at noon today my isolation was brought to an end when I was approached by a faction, a new one at that, to do their bidding.

 

Allow me to introduce to you The True Blue Trojans and their proposals to take our club forward. Having spoken to them at length on the phone, I am convinced this is the faction to take our club forward. They were good enough to fax me their proposals for the club which I am happy to reproduce here.

 

PROPOSAL 1 â?? STAFF CHANGES/POST CHANGES

 

Mr James Traynor will be replaced in his post by Mr Graham Spiers, in his role as Head of Communications. The nature of this role will also be changed and Mr Spiers will be responsible for the reporting of sectarian singing by the fans of other clubs at Scottish Football Stadia. The salary for this role will be on a performance related basis. Given his impressive CV in this regard the Trojans predict considerable savings for the club's budget.

 

PROPOSAL 2 â?? BOARDROOM CRECHE`

 

The Ibrox boardroom will operate as a crèche` facility for under 5 year olds. When 6 or more children are present this will constitute a quorum and board meetings will be duly held. Meetings will only be interrupted if a No. 2 is present in a nappy or Iggle Piggle's batteries require changing. Parents concerned for the well being of their children will be able to log in and see the goings on within the boardroom. The current board of directors have assured the Trojans that there is ample video provision within the Ibrox Boardroom. For parents without access to a computer I'm reliably informed a mobile phone with access to You Tube will suffice.

 

PROPOSAL 3 â?? POLICING

 

PC Tommy McGrindle will be appointed Head of Policing at Ibrox.

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/scottishnews/4803741/Dr-Stuart-Waiton-Politicians-and-cops-treat-football-fans-like-vermin.html

 

PROPOSAL 4 â?? STEWARDING

 

In order to foster better supporter/stewarding relations the Trojans propose a â??role reversal dayâ? where members of The Union Bears and the Blue Order will police the stewards who will assume the role of supporters for the day. It is acknowledged that watching Rangers may not provide a realistic atmosphere of excitement or interest for the stewards so arrangements have been made to beam back the Celtic game to Ibrox. All members of The Union Bears and Blue Order participating in this exercise will receive a commemorative copy of the book â??Harassment for Dummiesâ? as a reward for their participation in this endeavour (Please ensure all books are collected prior to kick off on the day)

 

PROPOSAL 5 - MEDIA AND RELATIONS

 

The current ban imposed on BBC Scotland will be rescinded with immediate effect by the Trojans. This will allow the new custodians to entertain both Chris McGlaughlin and Mark Daly in the new â??Lockdown Hospitality Suiteâ? they intend to build within Ibrox. A welcoming committee of Rangers supporters will receive Mr McGlaughlin and Mr Daly on the day. Allocation of places on this Welcome Committee will be by way of public auction. Proceeds from this auction will be used to clear the National Debt.

 

 

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The True Blue Trojans â?? You know it makes sense.

[Zappa 0]

Proceeds from this auction will be used to clear the National Debt.

 

You had me going until I read that bit.

[plgsarmy 111]

Where do I sign up?