rbr 1,247 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 A white knight has finally materialised to save Rangers. Jesus Christ, a prominent and much-worshipped figure at both Rangers and Celtic over many years, has opted to back the boys in blue. "I have lingered long over this decision, but my mind is made up. I cannot remain in the shadows while the Rangers are in need of divine intervention". "I shall save the club and give it to the people, the chosen ones; they who deserve better". The revelation came as a shock to Ibrox fans, but immediately some doubt was cast on Christ`s ability to beneficially intervene. "He has a criminal record", observed one Ibrox fan while another declared that his unruly appearance was not in keeping with the club`s strict dress code. "No way is the top man at Ibrox going to be accepted wearing a skirt and sandals", he opined. Christ`s favoured long-haired look did not endear itself either. "We don`t want a poof in charge", said one supporter who preferred to remain anonymous. Christ hasn`t been to Ibrox for some time, but he admitted to having looked down on the old place from time to time over the years and believes the club`s finest-ever servant was Tom Vallance. "They don`t make them like that any more", he declared. Asked about his feelings for Celtic, Jesus admitted that he was fond of them too. "Of course I love Celtic. Loving the enemy comes naturally to me". Christ has apparently been in talks with the RST for several weeks but both parties agreed to keep the meetings secret. "I`m really honoured to have met the RST people, said Jesus, "especially David Edgar". Asked what he could bring to the table, Jesus modestly replied, "I can walk on water and turn water into wine, but I`ll have my work cut out getting Walter to play an adventurous 4-4-2". With the press pack lapping up his every word, there was just one discordant note. "What about the bigotry"? Graham Spiers (the discredited journalist) (the discredited journalist), Scottish football`s self-appointed moral crusader was in the room. "You may continue to write about it", said Jesus, "and don`t hold back on the ******s". Radio Clyde`s Hugh Keevins followed up with his tuppence-worth. "The Celtic support will be unhappy that you`ve sided against them, Jesus". "They`ve still got the Pope", said Jesus, with a cheeky grin breaking out on his countenance, "and Glasgow City Council". "Do you have a message for Rangers supporters", asked the BBC`s Chick Young? "I do indeed, Chick", replied Christ. "Don`t vote Labour"! And with a swish of his kaftan, Christ rose to his feet and left the room with a song in his heart. "Sure it`s old ... 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluedell 5,329 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 "but I`ll have my work cut out getting Walter to play an adventurous 4-4-2". 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie 8,150 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Yep, a very funny bit of writing from No8 as ever... 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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