Mark 'Charlie Nicholas' Venus

[OnlyOneAmoruso 0]

Has anyone seen the extract from his press conference yesterday?

 

Dearie me!

 

 

Mark Venus showing at Celtic press conference beset by own goals

 

No reason was given for Celtic manager Tony Mowbray’s decision not to attend the press conference for Tuesday's Active Nation Scottish Cup fourth-round tie against Morton.

 

Whatever the thinking behind Mowbray’s non-appearance, the decision to send in his stead his assistant, Mark Venus, was, arguably, the biggest PR disaster for the club since Kenny Dalglish unwisely elected to hold his media briefings in Celtic pubs a decade ago.

 

Venus’s broadcast interview was bad enough. The 43-year-old contradicted Mowbray’s defiant statement from last weekend that Aiden McGeady was not for sale by claiming that “every footballer has his price.” However, when he came to speak to newspaper journalists, Venus seemed to be at pains to tell us what he didn’t know. Which turned out to be rather a lot.

 

First of all, he didn’t know the timescale concerning the injuries to central defender Stephen McManus or full-back Daniel Fox, who will be unavailable on Tuesday.

 

Then he couldn’t say whether Arsenal’s Philippe Senderos was a player Celtic wished to sign. He conceded that Mowbray would normally discuss transfer targets with him but when it was suggested that Venus’s insistence that he hadn’t mentioned Senderos to him would therefore rule the Swiss out, he replied: “I don’t know if he’s not interested.” The Celtic No 2 was, in turn, confrontational, vague and downright baffling and his attempts at repartee made Gordon Strachan look like Stephen Fry. It was, at times, quite surreal.

 

When asked if he agreed with the manager that the team doesn’t require major surgery, Venus replied: “I don’t know what the word [sic] means.” An enquiry about McManus’ place in the grand plan prompted another baffling response. “I don’t know what a grand plan is,” he said. “Grand means big and… you know. The bottom line is that Stephen McManus is captain of Celtic FC. Stephen McManus is playing for Scotland, Stephen McManus is a Celtic signed footballer.”

 

Venus denied that new signing Jos Hooiveld will automatically replace McManus in the starting eleven and dismissed reports that the club had paid Ã?£2 million for the Dutchman. “I don’t see that Ã?£2 million, me: I think you’ve got the figures wrong,” he said. “Nowhere near it. I think you are a million miles off it.”

 

Asked whether McManus, who had been out of Mowbray’s plans before the arrival of the similarly left-sided Hooiveld, still had a chance of featuring in the first team, Venus became flustered. “That’s what I’m saying,” he said. “It’s up to the manager to pick the team that he picks. The bottom line is you’re asking me a question I can’t answer because the situation hasn’t arisen. What is the question?”

 

Venus admitted that dropping 19 points in as many SPL fixtures was “disappointing” but at least he doesn’t view tonight’s visit to Greenock as a banana skin. “I don’t know what a banana skin is,” he said, unsurprisingly. “I think it’s something that’s left after you have a banana, isn’t it? Do you know what I mean?

 

“The bottom line is that I think it is a difficult game. A really difficult game against a team that is going to be fired up. We’ve obviously got a few injuries to contend with that you’d suggest might weaken our selection.” It was suggested that Celtic’s expensive stars must be prepared to graft against their First Division opponents and Venus agreed.

 

“I would hope, if we had some expensive footballers, that every one of them would get their hands and knees dirty in every game that we play,” he said. “I don’t think this is any different. All right, it is different but, you know.” Venus was asked whether, given the doom and gloom surrounding Parkhead at the moment, this was a match that Celtic simply couldn’t afford to lose.

 

“A can’t-lose game?” he asked. “What is a can’t-lose game? The bottom line is that this is a football game where you’ve got to go out, play your best and win.

 

“Other people can write, state or suggest what everything is. I don’t get paid basically to opinionise [sic] on what is and what isn’t key or whatever. I get paid to try and prepare a team to win a football game with the players who are available.”

 

However, even Venus had to confess that his team fully deserved to be jeered from the field following their 1-1 draw at home to Falkirk on Saturday, a result which leaves them nine points adrift of league leaders Rangers. “I think if you draw with the bottom of the league team at home – let’s be honest, I think I’d be booing as well,” he said.

 

“Irrespective of how you’ve played, irrespective of how hard you’ve tried and irrespective of what didn’t and did go wrong, if you draw with the bottom of the league team I think you’ve got every right to boo.”

 

The good ship Venus may yet help steer Celtic out of troubled waters but, on yesterday’s evidence, not without divine intervention.

 

South Korean midfielder Ki Sung Yeung, who made his debut at the weekend, will miss out after injuring an ankle in that match.

[Frankie 8,198]

Yah, Celtic fans aren't happy with Celtic fan Ewing Grahame's version of the press conference...

 

They're split down the middle on this one!

 

PS: Moved to Footie Chat

[26th of foot 5,874]

Ewing Grahame has moved firmly into the Nuremberg Hugh camp of Mowbray must go soonest. Expect lot's more of the same. They will be encouraging fellow Yahoo, James Grady to administer the coup de gras tonight.