ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Tam (the bam) Cowan take on Amsterdam! A CELTIC fan walks into a house of horizontal refreshment in Amsterdam and says: “There’s 5000 Euros – I want your biggest, ugliest, fattest woman ... and a piece ‘n’ cheese.” “But sir,” says the madame, “for 5000 Euros you can have the sexiest, most beautiful girl here.” “Nah, you’re okay,” he replies. “I’m not horny – I’m homesick.” Oh, and here’s another one that’s not true... After an incredible few days filling his boots in the red light district, another Celtic supporter returns home to his missus covered in bites, scratches and bruises. “What the hell happened to you?” she yells. “Okay, hands up,” he says, “I’ve just spent the last couple of days being ravaged by some of the world’s wildest, sexiest hookers.” “Don’t give me that crap,” she snarls. “You were involved in that riot in Dam Square, weren’t you?” On that note, folks, who were the eejits filming every bit of the midweek action on their phones? You wouldn’t want them next to you in the trenches, eh? I mean, just you imagine the reaction of all the wives when the Celtic fans returned home. “Here, how come I didnae see you in any of the riots? Where the f*** were you, eh?” The minute I clocked the front page of yesterday’s Record, I was totally shocked. Can you believe our future Queen has let her roots get into such a state? The photos from Dam Square – so called as it was essentially built by beavers – also left me stunned. I mean, come on, imagine going to Amsterdam and FIGHTING! Life’s too short, Bhoys. Plain-clothes cops apparently arrived with their batons out – onlookers said they thought it was just another stag party – and by all accounts the police in Amsterdam were a bit rash. (I bet that’s not the first time “Amsterdam” and “rash” have featured in the same sentence) I guess this wasn’t the sort of confrontation with the fuzz Celtic fans would have been hoping for. The police then called for back-up from the riot squads. And I’m told the Celtic fans called for back-up from Scott Brown. Having been sent at least 13 different video clips of the barney, I still don’t know who’s to blame. According to the Hoops fans who emailed, the supporters were just enjoying a quiet coffee in between visiting yet another museum when all hell broke loose. And, according to the Rangers fans, the Celtic support detonated a nuclear warhead and killed 64 police horses. But I suppose that’s par for the course. In fact, you know the “never-before-seen” Old Firm photos free with today’s paper? I half expected some snapshots of Celtic and Rangers fans holding their hands up and admitting some responsibility for the carry-on in Manchester and Amsterdam. I’m not going to pass judgment on the clips. To be honest, though, I thought it was all a bit tame. I much preferred the Amsterdam footage I got sent a few months ago from former Celtic starlet Paul Slane. In saying that, as a huge fan of the 1980s sketch show Not The Nine O’Clock News, I did enjoy one little snippet. Did you see the Rowan Atkinson tribute act who walked head-first straight into a lamppost? Brilliant! 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_Ally 0 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 And Jeanette Findlay is employed by my old uni. Waiting for their next begging letter to come through the door before I send another email telling them it is because of her they will never receive anything from me. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian1964 10,447 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 And Jeanette Findlay is employed by my old uni. Waiting for their next begging letter to come through the door before I send another email telling them it is because of her they will never receive anything from me. The BHEASTS hounded Hugh Dallas out of his job for a lot less! 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_Ally 0 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Last time she was being a bigoted boot I co planned to the uni and they didn't give a fuck. Maybe if more complain? How she can be employed in an educational establishment I don't know. As students there is a certain level of conduct expected of you and if you were to do something that could be seen to harm the unis reputation you could be kicked off your course. Why she doesn't have to behave as a decent human being as a representative of the uni I do not know. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Cooper 0 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 What a horrible bigoted cow. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super_Ally 0 Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Fuck it, emailed again anyway John.Briggs@glasgow.ac.uk 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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