Uilleam

Maradona was better.

Messi will be given a job on cabin crew with Etihad Airlines, at an undisclosed salary, paid in the Gulf, and will play for the Abu Dhabi EPL Franchise as an amateur.

Lowland is the drink for boys, Speyside that for men, but he who aspires to be a hero must drink Islay.

Cosgrove's triple glazing, I take it. A waste of half decent whisky, of course, but needs must...

There are no easy games in European football, but if there were..........

Goalkeeper did what he had to do, and, of course, he has had little practice to date.

Money well spent, mate.

Both yours, I take it.

Aye,well, if there are a few of them....

As good as that?

I remain to be convinced. He plays in a team which dominates most games. he will never have a better chance to strut whatever stuff he has.

Damning with faint praise.

Foot on the gas, please, for the next 45.

Your guess is as good as mine.

His decision making is poor. He's fast, but is he a footballer?

0 - 3 Fgs: Roofe

It's difficult, I imagine, to raise legitimate finance for a "Rooms by the Hour" facility.

I don't know, but he could be Levein soon.

I have heard, via the Internet, so it's accurate, that rasellik will "demand" £60M to despatch a French Letter from la Place Porcherie.

It's Lennon. A simpleton could guess at its meaning. Alternatively, remedial classes are available, on line, for the lexically deprived.

No. Rasellik is a "Champions' League Team". It is Scotland's "Champions League Team". It is geared for the Champions' League. It and the Champions' League are one, joined at the hip, inseparable. Think: -horse and carriage -cakes and ale -potatoes and potatoes -Rodgers and Hammerstein -Jagger and Richards -Lennon and...... Ah.....OK, I take your point.....

Not when the players can hear Lennon's every shout, scream and imprecation.

Could have been worse, could have been Heriot's...

Let them in; don't let them out. That would work, wouldn't it?

You'd need three dressing rooms: one for Ronaldo, one for Messi, and one for the rest of the team.