26th of foot

Do not concede, score first and, everything is okey dokey. Oh and avoid injuries too.

Match Officials announced : Referee : Don Robertson. AR1 : Daniel McFarlane. AR2 : Ross MacLeod. Fourth Official : David Munro. VAR : Andrew Dallas. AVAR : Andrew McWilliam.

Good. We can sell one Ross McCausland for decent dosh and keep the other one.

Sounds like he was a victim of nepotism.

"Ahm no a buftie".

Watching that video, I can only assume Brahim is intent upon becoming the Member for Fairy Dell.

Since Lockdown, I am conditioned to presenting my credit card thus cannot say with accuracy the price of a pint. A Howf in deepest, darkest Lanarkshire would be charging circa £4 a pint of lager(Tennents), Heavy would be 20 pence more. My local takes £4.70 for Heverlee. Bar'72 has been a cashless bar these last two seasons, credit card only.

You'll need a seat in Bar'72 when you find out a pint of Heverlee is £5.70.

Big Dick was the AmDram Quine of Fintry for thirty years. A trendy thespian ready to give it lots of pathos whilst delivering Rangers hating lines.

"I was brought up to absolutely hate Rangers". Above is the opening line spoken by Richard Gordon in his BBC Radio Scotland biopic' first broadcast nearly two decades past. Richard has spent the last twenty years flashing those very credentials. Last season he was appointed Cove Rangers PRO, moved back to his native Aberdeen and, took up a weekly column in the Aberdeen Press and Journal. We know he writes exclusively for a group of fans when visiting Sellik Park sing, 'we hate Rangers more than you' and the separated brethren show their appraisal by applauding. Today's column for the P and J is part of the League Cup final build up. Less than a fortnight to go and both clubs have played another two games, one in Euro' competition and a League fixture each. Aberdeen drew 2-2 in Helsinki and lost 2-0 at Easter Road whereas, Rangers drew 1-1 with Limassol and defeated St Mirren 2-0. The great Masonic conspiracy failed us again, no penalty awarded in either game. It is good to know the Grand Wizard like Barry Robson is continually obsessed with the aesthetics of the Scottish game. Further, a glance at the current league table would add greatly to the charge Aberdeen only raise their game against Rangers. The Dandies are three points ahead of bottom club, Livi'; their four points gained from two games against us keep them from the base. Of course, the difference at the top between ourselves and ra green'ngrey hooped horrors is effectively five points and that is the number we have surrendered to the Dons. There is considerable scope in this information for an interested columnist. The cup final is approaching fast and with hatred in his heart, the Cove Rangers PRO decided to go with, 'Penalty Rangers'. Big Dick has accrued his own empirical evidence, applied kai squared analysis and, t-test for fit. His conclusion is Rangers are beneficiaries of a bias or, I suppose it was so much easier when Wullie Miller refereed all Aberdeen games. Bias is a most strong word but do not expect Richard to name the officials affected by it. Similarly, since the penalties awarded stats prove Sellik to be the greater beneficiaries, penalties conceded is this week's and next week's trend. Richard expresses disbelief that Rangers have survived a league season without conceding a penalty, "not a single Rangers player committed a foul inside their own eighteen yard box". He lists the penalties awarded against us in Euro' games and deems those an expected stat' those conceded in domestic cup games are not all specified because they run a bit of interference on his preferred narrative. The one stat not mentioned is that another Scottish club has survived an entire season without conceding a penalty and, Sellik have achieved that stat' twice. Still, it is a bit awkward to type whilst Peter is stuffing his dick down your thorax. Dick's bias is to place firm pressure on the final officials and in doing so he deliberately omitted the most relevant stat' ie in this year's league cup, Rangers have played three games and conceded penalties in two of them, against Morton and Hearts.

Returning from yesterday's game in the car, a couple of mates and myself had a discussion on the similarities between Sima and Sakala. Both players take you up the park, both players commit opposition defenders and, both have an end product. I like both players for reasons outlined and I know Sima has notched a dozen goals in a misfiring team but, I prefer Sakala because he always got the shot off. I was not always enamoured with the destination of said shot.

Rangers 2 St Mirren 0 FGS : Danilo.

I believe in Scotland the Marquis of Melton Mowbray prefers his other monikor, 'Lord Pork Pie'. Of course the ultimate test of etiquette must be applied : do you cut your stilton with a knife or do you prefer a spoon?

Are we allocating designations? I bags, 'Ayatolla of Gorgonzola'. Love a bit of blue cheese.

He is Dutch, good he must know a club anxiously looking for a Sam Lammers type player.

Reference the last two games. Do we have a midfield?

Rangers 3 Limassol 1 FGS : Danilo.

I have attended the last two AGMs, both were hosted in the Clyde Auditorium(the Armadillo). The Clyde Auditorium's seated capacity is in excess of 2,000. Both AGMs were well attended, each had attendances of several hundred. I believe Edmiston House has a standing capacity of several hundred, seated will be considerably lower. Parking will also be a problem. I understand the club wanting to utilise the facility; however, both elderly and infirm Rangers supporters must be recognised and standing for in excess of an hour is unacceptable.

I advocate scoring first, ..................... second and, third.

There are eighteen days to go, Rangers face six games, three League, two Europa Cup and, the final itself. A most hectic and intense period. It struck me in the immediate wake of events at Pittodrie on Sunday last, the build up had already begun. Of course, the Dandies are frustrated, twice in the last several months they have snatched a draw and a defeat from the jaws of time added on victories. Other clubs are fortunate in that they are lionised in such circumstance due to a never stop attitude but, Rangers are accused of being the beneficiaries of vague nefarious influence. Our accusers had to be patient such were the numbers involved. Applying the levers to Pandora's Box were Barry Robson, Wullie Miller, Richard Gordon, Liam McLeod, Jonathon Sutherland, Michael Stewart, Chris Sutton, Peter Martin, Neil Lennon, Mark Wilson and, former Referees, Steve Conroy and Des Roache. All of the world's ills can be comfortably laid at the door of Rangers; particularly if you construe a shirt pull inside the box as being worthy of an equity card and, your mindset is Rangers deserved nothing. According to Michael Stewart time added on events should not apply to Rangers because, "just like the Hearts game, Rangers were never going to score until the Referee's decision". Or, if Rangers do not stop we will apply sufficient pressure to ensure Rangers are stopped. Rangers can help themselves. Firstly have a serious word with Todd Cantwell, he is a creative player with a penchant for finding space to throw himself to the ground unchallenged. The former Norwich player has a grievance, his yellow card rate is three times higher in Scotland. However, he has established a reputation for fresh air surfing and he must be told to refrain. Secondly, the club's historic adherence to dignified silence must be up for serious consideration. I understand not wanting to confront every crackpot with an agenda; however, achievement on the pitch should not be surrendered meekly in serial continuing aftermath. Barry Robson's post match line, "another stoppage time penalty to Rangers is not a good look for Scottish football" was a feed from Alan Burrows. The current Aberdeen Chief Executive has a ton of previous with Rangers. His behaviour at Motherwell made him most attractive to the Dandies. His first publicised decision was to reduce Rangers supporters ticket allocation whilst NOT doing similarly to Sellik supporters. He knows the value of gratuitous kicks at Rangers whereas similar behaviour towards the establishment club carries sanctions. What did Burrows say after his club's six goal thrashing at ra Stade de Gadd? He has plenty to say about our club and there is a whole list of the usual suspects waiting impatiently to deliver the lines. Whataboutery is not a good look but events do not occur in a vacuum, Sellik were awarded two penalties, allowed ten minutes time added on and, survived their left back stamping his studs down on to a 'Well player's shin. Did the levers find purchase? They were not even picked up, let alone shouldered. Compare and contrast with a Rangers player having his jersey pulled in the opposition box during injury time? A true benefit of being the establishment club is the deflection you can effect on another club that ironically, you claim is the establishment club. Phillipe Clement has his hands full, getting a tune out of an assembled grouping not of his choosing and concurrently dealing with fixture congestion whilst under constant off field heavy artillery. The five games between now and the cup final will come under forensic investigation, the levers are waiting and most willing. To see it any other way suggests you have already seen Michael Matheson's season ticket for Firhill?

Il Duce's xi triumph. Ra Sellik took to the pitch tonight in Rome replete in their preferred Camicie Nere and paid homage to their spiritual leader by chanting, "we are finito Benito". Tomorrow, it is an audience with il Papa and a Fray Bentos purvey.

I thought your face rang a bell.

Stuart was a lovely man. He succeeded James Currie and successfully steered the chaplaincy into a wider ranging, all encompassing mission.

Jeremiah Colman? Of course, Norwich lost it's relevance when Colman's moved manufacturing of their mustard to Germany.

It is a close call but, on balance I would have to say the crossbar makes more of a telling contribution than Lammers.