26th of foot

I would like us to (re)sign Gregor Stevens. Now I know Gregor must be pushing 68-69, he was a couple of years ahead of me at Fir Park Boys Club during the mid seventies. He was a tough tackling, ball winning, no nonsense Centre half who when time allowed, got his head up and played passes. Gregor was never far away from red mist syndrome, even in training. This effecting his timing and to compensate he utilised both feet, studs up in his frequent red mist tackles. Gregor hit you, you stayed tackled for about a month. The reason I think Gregor would be a worthy signing is that Scottish Referees are okay with players exhibiting red mist syndrome and, fellow professionals queue up to parrot, "he's NOT that type of player". I witnessed Ryan Porteous being red carded on three separate occasions in games against Rangers, three less than he deserved. Fellow professionals and pundits(particularly at BBC Scotland) chorussed, "he's NOT that type of player". As long as Gregor is not awarded a Scottish international cap and the red mist strikes. I note Callum McGregor has exonerated Ryan's challenge against Germany, "what else could he do"? I think the time has arrived for Gregor and his particular red mistism. We are more tolerant of all folks these days, especially if you have an 'ism'. Give Gregor the gig.

I suspect the Germans might win this game.

Gott im himmel, das ist gut, ja ja Leck meine lederstiefel Her mit den chutney-scharfschutzen. Cue, groaning saxaphone and flashing neon.

Ah, I note the multiple usage of one of my favourite terms, 'foot soldier in the Tartan Army' being utilised this week. Does the Tartan Army only field infantry, does it have any cavalry? If they do, another term you hardly hear these days; would they be, 'Beggars on horseback'?

Restless Natives. My balcony of choice this summer is situated in the corner of Spain. Galicia's charms are all encompassing but, mostly ignored by Spaniards. Of course, the country is a loose coalition of waring tribes, most Castilians, Catalans, Andalusians, Basques, ....... etc think Galicia is part of Poland. Even il Caudillo, Generalissimo Franco played down his Galician heritage on advice from his personal priest, Bishop Josemaria Escriva - the founder of Opus Dei. Yesterday, I was sitting outside a bar in San Vicente and a coach load of French tourists alighted to their guide spreading his arms and proclaiming, 'Galicia is God's work'. Dan Brown will ensure the Guardia Civil jail the blasphemer in his next book. God's work continues at Pacific Quay. The appetiser for the Euros is the second series of Scottish football icons, the six chosen are : Frank McAvennie, Joe Jordan, John Robertson, Wullie Miller, John Greig and, Jen Beattie. The Executive Producer remains Claire Kelly(daughter of former Sellik Chair, Kevin Kelly) and Eamonn Donohoe (Sportscene Producer), a Celtic State of Mind pairing. We know PQ is most comfortable lifting personnel and ideas from Sellik supporters' Podcasts and the national broadcaster serves up continuity in their Euros coverage. Each and every evening of the Euros, we are being given, 'Late Night at the Euros with Martin Compston'. Now I know Gersnetters will be concerned as to the whereabouts of RAB Cosgrove and Tam Cowan, it's their gig these last thirty years? Diversity training takes it's toll and maybe they are losing the confidence of Claire and Eamonn? As BBC License payers, we must ask, has Martin Compston undergone diversity training? Remember Martin, it is only two years past since he conducted the balaclava attired Yahoos in the full IRA karaoke from a Las Vegas stage? Martin ticks all the boxes, he co-hosts a Podcast with Hibby, Gordon Smart called, 'Restless Natives'. BBC Scotland tells us, "Martin is hilarious" is his descant of the forty year old Scottish low budget film. Taking on the characters of Clown and Wolf, two disaffected youths get on their motor bikes and indulge in highway robbery. Tourist coaches are the target. Martin will be donning a clown mask instead of the usual balaclava. What are PQ CSC thinking? A Scots actor who has lived in Las Vegas this last decade is parachuted in and RAB Cosgrove says nothing. I suspect Martin's political sympathies and the thought of an impending word from Peter have silenced him. A man in his 72nd year knows his snout could be removed from the trough permanently. The suffocating blanket of God's Work decrees hating is no longer enough, Opus Peter is dictating. No wonder RAB is continually playing the Irish heritage card these days. I think PQ could have been a bit more snappy with the show's title, how about, 'Singalonga Martin'?

PP raised a frisson of excitement back in the day, it was the soul goddess, 'PP Arnold'. She collaborated with Steve Marriott on the Small Faces classic, 'Tin Soldier' and did the definitive cover of Cat Stevens, 'the First Cut is the Deepest'. (I am sure Gonzo will load the appropriate YouTube videos). Of course, these days in Scottish football, PP is short for, 'Peter's Placeman'. Today, they are all Peter Placemen, the snouts know who controls the gravy flow. The President of the SFA, Mike Mulraney has taken to the Scottish football press to inform us all that his fellow SFA Directors are not Blazers and, anyone labelling them so, "are ignorant". Further, they are all deserving of a doubling of salary and Peter approved the passing of yesterday's AGM motion allowing the increases. PP looks out for PPs and anothe PPP, Wullie Collum receives special praise. Mike utilises PLZ(Peter Martin's daily Sellik Podcast) to tell us, "from Australia to the Americas we looked at a number of candidates, the outstanding candidate in the world wide search was Wullie". PP approved. Whatever became of the Laptop Loyal?

I served something like four years or so in the then West Germany and I was only present once during a Soviet defection. The two Red Army formations facing us were 3 Guards Army and 7th Shock Army, 18 Divisions plus support against our four in BAOR. One hot summers Sunday, a T64 MBT came careering out of the wood line, zigzagging across the wheat field. I requested weapons free permission and provided the RA with the appropriate x-ray grid. I was told to, "wait out". The distance from their wood line to ours was nearly 4K but, it crashed into the trees about 300 metres to our left and, the crew poured out. They were howling drunk. It took a couple of days but Intelligence got back saying they had been expecting something over the weekend but had no specifics thus, no warning order. Hence, no weapons free permission either. Apparently, the 7th Shock Army had received their quarterly black boot polish bulk allocation the day before. A troop of three tank crews had placed their blocks of boot polish on loafs in direct sunlight, the industrial alcohol percolated into the bread and, they consumed it. An hour later, three of them decided on the mazy run. The others were blind drunk, literally. I suspect I have just contravened the Official Secrets Act?

If you find yourself disorientated in Berlin and want to know the direction home? My advice is the same as it was forty years past when I was charged with Berllin's anti-tank defence plan, follow the Soviet/Russian tanks, they will be heading west.

Reference Cortes,. there is an obvious danger of the longer the lad is out injured, the better a player he becomes. On the half-a-dozen games played, he looked an exciting young winger. A good spot by the Gaffer because he provided the team with balance on the right. I thought after the five nil scudding of Hearts at Ibrox, he was the piece in the jigsaw that would propel us to league winning celebrations. The very next game, Killie on the drastic plastic and he became the fourth Ranger to suffer long term injury on that surface.

Uruguayan, does he bite?

Hume, If Rangers survive, will you?

Raskin grew into the game, a good second half.

I have been impressed with Diomande's contribution, Raskin looks well off it. McCausland on in his natural position and move Sterling into the middle with Dio'? Just a thought.

Celtic 2 Rangers 3 FGS : Dessers.

The second half epitomised our season too. 1-3 ahead with ten minutes to play and we draw 3-3 with a Hearts strike in the 96th minute. We cannot stop teams launching the ball into our box from all areas of the pitch. Hearts third comes from their keeper unleashing a 70 yard diagonal unchallenged, we lose the header and, the knock down is volleyed into our net.

A first half that epitomises our season. We dominate possession for thirty minutes, create a couple of opportunities and are denied a penalty. Our 22 goal centre forward is ten yards out facing a scrambling keeper and he finds the goalie. Todd Cantwell plays a lazy, loose ball and a first time pass played in behind finds Shankland bearing down on Butland, he dinks it for one nil. Cantwell has spent the last fifteen minutes at his most demonstrative. Wright and Raskin are in hiding and Dessers blushes were saved by a Linesman's flag.

Hearts 1 Rangers 2 FGS : Dessers.

I thought he was, 'taking the puff' and viewing his tropical fish tank for a few weeks. Haste ye back, Bill.

Peter's place men fill a number of designations in the Scottish game. Chief Executive of the SFA - Ian Maxwell. President of the SFA - Mike Mulraney. Chief Executive Officer of the SPFL - Neil Doncaster. Chairman of the SPFL - Murdoch MacLennan. Head of Refereeing - Wullie Collum. In fact, they fill them all.

Peter loves a bit of Wullie.

As Nick Montgomery was being given the heave-ho; concurrently, Hibs were appointing Malky MacKay as Sporting Director. Malky is responsible for finding the Hibees new Gaffer. An interesting appointment. Malky is a member of a growing band of folk involved in Scottish football who have experienced formal Diversity Training. We have Journo at the Herald, Gabriel McKay, Tam Cowan and RAB Cosgrove at BBC Scotland, Mark McGivern at the Daily Record, ........ etc. I wonder if they all meet up every month to enjoy a chinky meal?

Rangers 2 Dundee 1 FGS : Dessers.

The Jolly Bhoy's Outing. Here's the gig. Tom continues his refusal to apologise to Peter over the article he penned reference Brendan's itchy feet. Tom remains not welcome at ra Stade de Gadd and Lennoxtown. Chris has empathy and as such, is consigned to ra grassy knoll across London Road from ra Sellik Way. The PQ CSC supporters' bus travels without Tom and Chris. Convenor, Kheredine Idessane is demanding club Treasurer, Martin Dowden publishes the dues owing. Secretary, Amy Canavan insists upon a constant Sellik State of Mind. Effectively, ra green'n'grey hooped horrors won the Premiership on Saturday after their 2-1 victory over Rangers. BBC Scotland ensured their targeted, preferred audience were fully informed, live radio and online commentary plus TV highlights. Compare and contrast with the five years license fee Rangers supporters endured when Chris fell out with our club? We had to wait until after the final whistle to hear that week's nominated naughty step occupier look at a studio monitor and relay the score. On Saturday last, Tom was confined to the studio and Chris visited the Pride Collection to squeeze into lederhosen. Bavaria bound and hoping Pinocchio would utter some lies whilst Chris squatted on his face, Gollum got away from fellow gloating Yahoos by doing a promo for Auntie on the upcoming Euros in Germany. It is a three day jolly, taking in accommodation, spa facilities, tourism opportunities, tasting the big sausage and, sipping from a stein. Tomorrow, after horticultural tips from Berchtesgarden Chris goes full Cabaret. He is intent upon telling us the Money, Money required for a short time with a Chick with a Stick. Well, he has to grab Brenda's interest. Will both BBC Scotlands Sports Correspondent and Chief Football Writer be in attendance at the Scottish Cup final next Saturday, does Peter's influence extend to Hampden? We should be told.

This morning, Hibs relieved Nick Montgomery of his duties as Head Coach. Hibs season has five days to go, the timing appears strange. I thought the guy had Hibs attempting to play football but, the most damning factor could be Michael Stewart's constant backing. The Bookies will have a list, I suspect it will include the following : Neil Lennon(pray for him), the Lego Eater, John Hughes, Neil Murray, Tony Docherty, Rhys McCabe and, perhaps David Martindale? The controlling factor will be who do Bournemouth want?

I believe the orange top is an invitation by the club to join the dots, make a picture and, win a major prize.