Bill

For some reason I feel slightly uneasy about this. Perhaps it's because football songs and chants belong in the stands and pubs, not in a book. They're fluid and often irreverent, open to spontaneous change. They seldom stand still and several versions can exist. More than anything else, they're aural rather than visual. Once you put them in a book you cast them in someone's idea of what they should be and it's almost never what you'll hear where fans gather.

Although I pranced about in a kilt many times myself when younger, I eventually reached a stage when it dawned on me how fatuous it was to wear a clown's outfit invented by a Lancastrian and popularised by a royal German fantasist and pretend it somehow made me look "Scottish". Skean dhu, silver sporran, brogues laced up your legs, frilly shirt, daft jacket - pure numptiness. No wonder we struggle with identity in Scotland. That said, I do like a bit of tartan on the stairs. Just not in-your-face blue.

Seek help. Amnesia is a serious condition.

No one wants to pour cold water on an achievement, however minor but it's hard not to comment on the general reaction to this qualification. Much of it is so far over the top as to be cringeworthy. I don't think I've seen a news bulletin since the game that would be out of place if we'd actually won the tournament. It simply confirms the neediness of a country that long ago swapped self-confidence for whining victimhood. For me, the first sign of something worthy of celebration will be when we attend one of these finals and get beyond the group stages, instead of the usual cannon-fodder failure we've thankfully been excused from for 22 years. Maybe this time. Maybe it would be better to keep our powder dryish.

Fortunately, I'm only aware of one club. So long as Rangers weather the storm in one piece.

That's nice.

Are there any stats to describe what tedious waste of time an international fortnight is? Because such is the density of boredom around international football that time itself seems to slow perceptibly.

It clearly doesn’t apply any more and should be dropped. Any notion of “common usage” is just laziness

The Crown Office is just another label for the taxpayer's pocket

I know it's his job to promote the club but there seems to be an air of real enthusiasm about DJ.

Apparently if you consume statistics you lose all ability to appreciate the visual spectacle. There I was, thinking you could do both. Silly me. There can't be a sport on the planet where stats are a more important part of enjoying the game than cricket, which isn't at all American and where Wisdens has been churning out the numbers for over 150 years. Yet it doesn't seem to put cricket fans out of phase. Maybe football fans are just a tad less evolved.

If I thought the best Celtic could find was Gary Monk then I'd be a very optimistic bear indeed.

.... or not, as the case might actually be. ?

I think the point of these statistics is probably more about stimulating ideas rather than providing answers ... an aid to forming conclusions rather than conclusions in themselves. In any case, no one should take too strong a view on either side. Like Marmite, you can just leave it in the cupboard if you don't like the taste.

It wasn't a day for easily picking a MOTM. As far as I could see there were no failures - but there were no standouts either. If pressed I'd have to go for Tavernier or Kent but it could just as easily be Goldson or Roofe or Aribo or Arfield or Balogun. Strangely, the guys who came off at half time, Barisic and Jack were possibly the pick of the first half. I've stuck a pin in the board and gone with Tavernier.

Let's be honest, a good manager with their budget should be able to make a significant impact on the title destination.

Who does Zungu replace, Arfield?

There's no way I'd be changing half the starting eleven for a game that's at least as important as Benfica although given the right circumstances I might be using the full compliment of subs earlier than is usual for Gerrard. McLaughlin Tavernier Goldson Helander Barisic Jack Zungu Kamara Kent Itten Morelos

Rangers 5 Hamilton 0 Fgs - Defoe

It would be a profound disappointment if Lennon lost his job at this stage.

Possibly because, unlike God, we're not perfect and sometimes get it wrong. I can live with that.

The only thing I'm a bit gutted about are the number of gilt-edged opportunities we passed up to score a barrowload against a team like Benfica. It's a pity that we didn't hold out for a win but anyone feeling too disappointed should just think back to Pedro and the hedge.

So ... no agreement on anything and a complete waste of time by the worse bunch of clowns ever to preside over the Scottish league. And that's saying something.

If I'd said next training day would your pedantry still have been triggered?

Benfica 2 Rangers 1 FGS - Barisic