26th of foot

Took the train, and a Taxi. Even at the end of that pier, the sea remains a mile away.

The Northern Light. The northern lights of old Aberdeen mean ....................... lots of different things to lots of different Rangers supporters. Forty-odd years past on the Uni mini bus returning from a Scottish Cup game at Pittodrie, we sang such illumination meant sweet fcuk all. We were indifferent to Furryboots City and the Dandyism contained within the city walls. Although, earlier in the day, standing atop an open South terrace, I became quite animated when our own heavenly dancer, Ally Scott prodded the Bears ahead. The animation became more exaggerated in the second half due to the Dons reserve number nine, Wullie Miller equalised. A couple of pleasant post match drinks in Aberdeen Uni Union ensued and we were informed by Dandies sharing the bar, that Miller had been loaned out to Peterhead the season before and had finished the Highland League season as top scorer. Further, we were assured his goal was a one off, and he was a dud. I should mention we had a special guest on our bus that day, the manager of Arbroath, Albert Henderson. His nephew was our Convener and a post grad' Bacteriologist. Albert was in the Arbroath hot seat for eighteen years, several of those in the top flight. He thought the boy, 'Miller' was a player. The only mitigation under the Ibrox floodlights in the midweek replay, was witnessing Rangers play in an all white strip. Bobby McKean's leveler should be remembered, but unfortunately, the Dons struck either side to knock us out the cup, 1-2. My memories of travelling to Aberdeen between the mid 60s and mid 70s will be shared by most Bears. It was a four hour journey up, most clubs stopped for a purvey lunch in Laurencekirk/Stonehaven, had High Tea and a few drinks in Aberdeen or just outside, before replicating the long and weary back down the road. It's how it was back in the day, no animosity between Bears and Dons. On the trip related, in the Uni Union, we were shown a room full of trashed furniture and fittings. This was the debris left after Glasgow University Sellik supporters club had visited three months previously. The Aberdeen SRC banned said Yahoo club due to unacceptable behaviour, a dozen years later the ban was reimposed indefinitely. The Dons did not have a big travelling support, those that came to Ibrox mostly stood in the west enclosure. Again, I remember standing next to and exchanging comments with them. It wasn't always entirely friendly, just the normal differing of opinions from opposing supporters. I do not remember any squaring up. In September'79, I received a few days leave and traveled up from Hampshire to Pittodrie for an early season league game. We scored first, courtesy of DJ, and then were most lucky Aberdeen's reply stopped at three. Later, that evening, I met a couple of mates from the Uni supporters' bus, both then living and working in Aberdeen, including the former Convener. We dined in the town's best eatery at the time, 'Gerard's'. The atmosphere had changed, our pre-meal drink at the bar was interrupted by cat calling from other parties. We were advised to tone down the Weegie accents and one garrulous Dandy opined, "ye shid ah be quarantined in yer slums". Our former Convener reminded the clown of the last quarantine on these islands, it was Aberdeen in May 1964 because of an outbreak of Typhoid. Nearly 500 folks hospitalised due to contaminated Fray Bentos steak pies. I have read it all over the years, the animosity began with this, that, and everything. It was Ferguson's siege mentality, it was Wullie Johnston standing on McMaster, it was our inability to accept Aberdeen's success, it was Simpson's tackle on Durrant ...................................... etc. It could simply be that Aberdeen are a one club city and they needed a rival, or they do suffer from a massive insecurity. One thing is true, absolutely. The last thirty years has seen an increasing amplification of the animosity. The application of the needle on this particular record is often at the hands of the Yahoos. They are a club like no other, they steal their song from Liverpool FC and the way they hate our club has emanated from the Dandy Dons. The Yahoos in both broadcast and print media love to lionise the Dandies when they pitch up at ra Stydome and sing, "we hate Rangers more than you". It fair tickles them and the message is most often reinforced on BBC Scotland. You see, all those Dandies behind the mikes were conditioned by the fanzine, 'the Northern Light'. The main artist on the Northern Light was Gordon Reid. He depicted Bears as failed abortions, wire coat hangers protruding from our heads. He drew the strip, 'the Bigots'. There was even a front cover of a stairway with skulls piled at the bottom. Well, you can imagine how much this all inspired our separated brethren. Gordon Reid was transferred from the Aberdeen 'zine to the Sellik one, 'the Alternative View'. He began a strip entitled, 'the H-u-ns' where John Brown was depicted as a dress wearing knife wielding, psycho. Then, Matt McGlone took Reid to his 'zine, 'Once a Tim'. Fergus took control of ra Sellik and decided to have dearest Matt inside the tent and offered him a five year contract as a Sellik View columnist. Gordon Reid received the same contract; of course, the strip became, 'the Celts' but it was the same characters. You see the journey, from Rangers hating in Dandy 'zine, to official Rangers hatred in official club organ? It's all a well rehearsed and choreographed piece of theater with BIG Am-Dram Quine, Richard Gordon leading this Sunday's anticipation. All the usual players will contribute their venom, it's quite an act, hissing and spitting at the same time. The Producer will have the appropriate texts and e-mails ready to support Chris McLaughlin and Liam McLeod. The amplification will be up for any chanting worthy of report. Similarly, the knob will turned to eleven if Joe Garner raises an arm. The banners and the songs from the home support will be cheeky and good natured craic. Even engraving a rancid comment about the Ibrox Disaster into the metal of the Rangers team bus will be quietly put to bed. A hotel car park with CCTV, and yet no one sees it, no one questioned, no one charged, no one investigated. BBC Scotland refused to discuss it on grounds of, 'taste'. As for my team, I agree with Frankie below and I hope Rangers and Rangers supporters maintain their discipline. I hope for 1-1.

It means I have just returned this afternoon, after spending five days in Southport with two octogenarians(Mother and Aunt) and as yet, have NOT penned the match preview. I will have something filling the vacuum in a few hours. Although, I could leave it to nature; apparently hates vacuums.

I seem to remember the problem with a 'Backsie' was after conceding, they were back out. A system that seems to encourage conceding goal after goal. No, put the boay wi the big ears in goal, that's his position.

I find that quite heartening. Obviously, Emerson's performance at ra Stydome has Brendan slightly unnerved. a semi-final approaches and the pressure of the Treble must be relieved. Issue some disinformation and unsettle the player; dozens of Yahoo journos will be willing to pose the relevant questions to the Rangers manager and on loan player. Brendan has spoken. Or, Rod Petrie has asked Big Peter for another emergency loan signing for next season. Lenny has identified Hyndman, compliant Rod is anxious to maintain his status as Big Peter's favourite Toady and secure Hibs status as ra Sellik's favoured feeder club. Scott Allan, Liam Henderson, and Chris Commons are in a collective state of high dungeon.

I blame Ally McCoist. I believe this is Neil's tenth ordering from the field? Really, it should be his eleventh. Remember ra Sellik's visit to Pittodrie to play ICT? Neil falling to the ground clutching his face after ICT player, Juanjo kneed him on the back of his thigh? Now, that was embarrassing! We await the Scottish Government booking Glasgow University for a summit on sectarianism, that Jim Duffy is an anti-Irish bigot. We await several articles on depression, and no one will mention Neil's partnership with top Provo, Slab Murphy in a failed NI land deal. Situation, no change.

I am sure the story I heard about his decision to leave the cloistered existence of the priesthood is untrue? Apparently, quite a number of priests with a passing interest in the ggs, would gamble their meager remuneration and lose. Dipping into parish funds would become a temptation. Martin has been the horse racing correspondent at a number of blatts. I cannot believe he would succumb to lack of financial integrity; however, I wouldn't bet on it.

Pat really has an eye for a youth player? Or, is it with his hair weave in place, he is just another rent a mouth? Back in the day, when his beloved Sellik wanted to sign a Japanese youngster, and all ten non-EU permits had been issued; Pat Chaired the panel that decided Koki Mizuno that secured said work permit. Pat stated, "he is the best I have seen at this level". Koki went on to make 11 first team appearances in three seasons, half a dozen as a substitute. Appropriately, Pat resides in Duns. Next week, Pat tells the readership what Peter wants him to say, and is currently considering, how many angels can balance on the head of a pin?

Older Gersnetters will remember Hamilton Acas of forty-odd years past? Jan Stepek was the Chairman and Jim Smith the manager. They had hundreds of Lanarkshire schoolboys on S-Forms. Any lad that had signed said S-Form, and looking likely; then Acas were due compensation first, even though they had done nothing for his development. Basically, they signed the lads and filed the forms. It appears Chelsea are at the fore front of a similar scheme. An official investigation by the SFA saw Jim Smith banned from participation in signing youth players. I am sure the reports at the time stated a cupboard in his office had several hundred signed S-Forms. I was at Fir Park Boys' Club in the early 70s and we had Billy Lamont and Sammy Campbell telling us NOT to entertain Acas. Guys who made a good living from football in our crop ie Gordon Mair, Jim Dempsey, Paul Lamont, Ian Clinging, ...etc all benefited from honest advice. The current Chelsea situation is much different and depressing. Kids in early teenage years can transform the entire family situation by signing at sixteen. A new house and a new car(s) is most tempting when advice is being proffered.

That smells like an Andrew H Smith piece? I would pose this question to the triumphalistic former Editor of ra Sellik View. Our next MUST win game is our next game, against England at the beginning of June. Will those same six Sellik players be available on June 10th, considering Sellik's Champions League commitments starting a few weeks later? I suspect Peter will have a word with Stewart, he'll have a word with Gordon, ........etc. Oh, and Andrew, you'll be having a different word with your readership. You will be compliant, like all other broadcast and print outlets; you will echo Davie(Provo)Provan's reaction to last night's team announcement, "you can't really argue with it".

Peter tells Stewart. Stewart tells Gordon. Gordon tells the media.

Joe O'Rourke's official designation is, 'General Secretary of the Celtic Supporters' Association'. He came to prominence a couple of years past when he used his weekly homily to wish more Harland and Wolfe workers had sailed on the Titanic's maiden voyage, because they were all protestant. Whether you think Mad Joe is medically ill or he is a bigot; it is a disgrace that neither the membership of the CSA or the club itself have demanded his removal.

Nil by Mouth should be issuing a statement reference Sellik's supporters' association chief, Joe O'Rourke's statement yesterday. Further, Bobby Madden should be instructing his Solicitors.

We should have a sweep, as to the first Yahoo crazed journo/sub-editor to use the headline, 'No Way Pedro'? Meanwhile, tune into next week's Sellik TV, Brendan will discover penicillin live on air.

The Green Brigade have become the monster many predicted. All this olive drab uniform is derivative of early the seventies Provos. The balaclavas and dark classes are essential accessories. I believe they are receiving the necessary rewards too, several approving references in An Phoblacht(the provos newspaper). Given that many of the members are privately educated schoolbhoys, I predict 'Provo Chic' will become de rigueur.

What about Lustig halving Clint Hill in two as he shinned the ball into the net for the equaliser? Surely, worthy of a caution at least?

I would prefer Neil McCann.

We can all look forward to El Fideldo's match report on this afternoon's Youth Cup semi-final versus Killie. The game finished 1-1 after ninety minutes, but the Swifts notched twice in the second half of extra time for a 3-1 victory. I believe the other semi-final is between 'Well and ra Yahoos? As Sundays go, this has been a pretty good one. Hopefully, silverware is sitting in the trophy room come May? The Scottish Cup and the Youth Cup would make for a bit of symmetry.

Well done you, a wide eyed optimistic prediction, I hope you prove correct. I am not at the 'bring on the Spaniards by the score' level myself; but to hear fellow Bears sounding defiant is heart warming.

Again, at ra Stydome, with the Yahoos dominating possession. Why are we not utilising the obvious pace of O'Halloran? A ball, any ball over the top keeps that Yahoo defence more honest. I hope I am wrong, but I suspect they will hold a high line and we will struggle to find an out ball. The front two/three will play mostly with their backs to the Yahoo goal.

Great title, most accurate.

There's a pattern developing at BBC PQ. Remember, the game at Fir Park? A couple of sending-offs, another couple of controversial decisions, and the amplification was turned up to eleven. Cosgrove and Cowan had the Motherwell skipper, Keith Lasley on the show from 17.30hrs to 19.00hrs. The following night, one of those ordered from the field, 'Well's Scot McDonald was on Sportscene pleading his case. On the Monday evening, McDonald was a guest for ninety minutes on Sportsound. On Saturday evening, Cosgrove and Cowan had Hamilton's McKinnon on for ninety minutes, reinforcing the points made by his manager, Martin Canning on the telephone call from objective Host of the Show, Richard Gordon. The hypocrite, Cosgrove laughingly makes regular claims on his weekly media review with Eamon O'Neill, that lack of fairness and balance keeps him awake at night. Yet, weekly he participates in kangaroo courts with loaded juries against Rangers. We will see Chris McLaughlin appear on Cosgrove and Cowan before fairness and balance arrive. The next time a most controversial decision occurs in Scottish football, BBC Scotland must load their next three shows with representitives of the perceived injured parties. If not, they should be asked why? Surely, they cannot be subjecting Rangers soley to this particular version of fairness and balance?

BBC Radio Scotland found itself in a most comfortable place yesterday, preferred prejudice to the fore. Now, we know PQ has struggled to provide a service to license fee paying Rangers supporters, and the supporters of whatever opposition is playing at Ibrox that day. It has traveled the entire spectrum, from just the score when Dundee visited; to full live commentary from a TV set situated in plush PQ." The on going situation between the club and BBC Scotland", is the preferred euphemism to cover over Chris McLaughlin's lies. Further, at the culmination of play, Richard Gordon offers, "of course we will not be able to bring after match comment from managers and players because we are not in the stadium". Well, BBC Scotland are now contravening that statement by telephoning the opposition manager after the ref's whistle. The objective host of the show, Richard Gordon spoke on the ham bone with Martin Canning and opened with a statement, "Garner staying on the field blew everyones' mind". Remember, fifteen years past, in a thirty minute auto-biographical piece, Richard revealed he was raised to absolutely hate Rangers. I suspect Richard was flashing a continuation of his Rangers hating credentials by such a dolly? However, as in most things PQ; Cosgrove's live contribution revealed a much darker mind, "oh, the referee has just offered Rangers a penalty". As the Clyde flows past PQ, Cosgrove's bitterness mimics the elegant tidal ooze. For the record, it was a penalty, you can see the Accies defender stamping on Toral's foot. Garner's kick out happened immediately to my front and I thought red card. It's the day after and remains a red card; but BBC Scotland will demand he be red carded twice on Sunday. The mirrors in PQ must take a fair bleeching, all those objective chaps questioning, 'who is the bitterest of them all"?

Reference Dastardly's purchase of Agent Provocateur, the founder was the flame haired son of both Malcolm McLaren and Vivien Westwood. Perchance Greg Binnie, we should be told?

I blame Trainspotting, Irvine Welch's semi-autobiographical tome has inspired a couple of generations of grasping aspirational Hibees to choose a fantasy life. Apparently, Irvine claims to be five years younger than he is, enjoyed a solid middle class upbringing, and was more of an observer than practitioner. Dale Pryde perceives himself to be, 'the Balerno Begbie'. The fantasy is a hard life; Dale stumbled over the cobbles each morning to the village bakery to beg a bag of crumbed biscuits. The reality, Dale utilised his credit card at the village patisserie to purchase un sac de croissants casses. Even his actions on the pitch, his fantasy intent is assaulting a Rangers player, the reality is wielding a broken seat at a woman. Dale Pryde and Greg Binnie, brothers in exuberance!