Fortunately, Charlie Ridiculous was a sublime footballer.
Over the decades he has put quite an effort into maintaining his 'Ridiculous' soubriquet.
Thirty-five years past, he was holidaying in Ibiza when on a night on the town he decided to steal a chip from a young female fellow tourist. Lori McElroy was an Undergraduate Law student from East Kilbride. She told him to move on because, "I am not impressed". Charlie was a Sellik superstar and slapped Lori. She returned and took out a civil action against Charlie. He was convicted on a charge of assault and fined £1,200 and ordered to pay costs.
Twenty-odd years past the then retired Charlie took to Scotland on Sunday to tell us he was a Businessman and as such, "ah love a profit". He was in partnership with Jim Milligan, a friend of the notorious McGovern family. They had half-a-dozen bars in west, central Scotland operating under the name, 'Cafe Cini'. Essentially, wine bars with the added attraction of big breasted waitresses. In the same interview, Charlie waxed lyrical about his favourite all time film, 'Goodfellas' and how it was filled with sage business acumen.
You may remember the character in the movie that owned the established restaurant? He could not get the wise guys to pay their bills and made representation to Paulie, the local Goodfella Boss. He offered a partnership and immediately the eatery was being utilised for ordering everything wholesale on credit. Fur coats, crates of spirits and, lobsters went through the front door and out the back to be sold on. Six months later the restaurant was bankrupt and the Joe Pesci character set it alight for insurance. Cafe Cini in Greenock burnt down, followed the next month with Cafe Cini in Union Street, Glasgow being closed for several months unpaid drinks deliveries.
Charlie was in the High Court alone, he did not know the whereabouts his partner, Jim Milligan. The speculation was Jim had absconded to the Republic of Ireland and taken up partnerships with Slab and Mex' Murphy. Santa Ponca hosts a couple of bars where the Patrons are replete in ponchos and balaclavas. The PF took the view Charlie was a Patsy, he had lost his entire investment and was expected to come to an arrangement to cover outstanding debts. The McGovern family told Charlie to leave the country.
SKY offered Charlie a platform for constant daft Bhoyness and Charlie has never disappointed.