26th of foot

I have said it before, and it's worth saying again; Hartson's finest sellik moment was the Sunday afternoon his former wife drove the family Range Rover to the Happy Eater front doors of ra Stydome, and unloaded several bin liners containing Hartson's possessions. The News of the Screws revealed that morning that the fat Welshman had been conducting an affair with a denominational schoolteacher from Newmains. He had put her up in one of the luxury flats at the Glasgow Harbour development. After dumping the bin liners into the hands of the Stade de Gadd security, Hartson's former wife was back with his golf clubs. Kerrydale Street to Newton Mortgage and return in under an hour was a hugely deflating experience for Hartson, it took him that long to turn with the ball at his feet.

Apparently, Spiers is bringing out another Rangers book, '50 Greatest Gers'. Do not buy it, do not burn it; however, please do burn the Author.

Back in the day, when newspapers were prepared to send ra Bhoy in Corduroy to Augusta, Georgia, for the US Masters; Rangers and Rangers supporters were far from his diseased mind. He would wax lyrical about big black Caddys in orange overlongs and roague-iron shoes, sweating gently because they were toting full bags. You knew he was lost in his fantasy of being lost in the Georgia woods, bending over to admire a Venus Flytrap, only to be accosted and invited by those same Caddys, to do some praying. Other than hating Rangers, nothing gets the Botanical Truth Fairy excited, like the thought of full throated, forced facial humiliation.

Wooden Walker's two year tenure as Scotsport host was a broadcasting nadir. Along with his fellow 'objective' constant guest, John Colquhoun, Scotsport was allowed to trawl the depths. Each and every favourable decision awarded to ra Sellik was robustly defended, whereas Rangers good fortunes in this regard was treated with smirking contempt. Walker demanded Colquhoun's inclusion as part of his agreement to host the show. It was a clear attempt to rejuvinate the career of the man responsible for taking �£10million out of ra Sellik coffers. Colquhoun was Rafael Scheidt's Agent. After taking his �£760,000(figure from Keevins) cut of the deal, he took the family down south for 5 years to avoid the deserved flak. Principled John knew he had sold his beloved hoops an absolute dud, on a 4 year contract(�£1.5million per year). Wooden Walker was determined to ressurrect his mate's career and reputation.

I tuned into Radio snyde last evening, expecting to hear Bitter Martin and Co offer grudging congratulations to champions, Rangers. I mean, it's just over 24 hours since the Bears triumph at Tannadice. Last week, Snyde continued to portray the arabs as akin to Barca, very few of the regulars could see Rangers achieving a victory. Indeed, the concensus was, if ra Sellik score first at ra Stydome, then the pressure piles on to Rangers in Dundee. It's all a question of bottle. Well, I feel Rangers answered the question and some. An excellent performance, three good goals, and the wonderful sight of 10,000 singing and dancing Bears. Lot's to discuss? Err, no, not really, Sellik's plight(as usual) was far more important in the Radio Snyde collective psyche. The panel was Big DJ and Andy walker. Bitter opened with Strachan's resignation and then read the the Bookies' odds on his possible replacement. Rangers title triumph was up next, DJ and Walker offered short homilies, and it was back to the important stuff, ra Sellik. In summary, one hour saw 11 callers, only one of which, wanted to discuss Rangers. Every other caller was an appeal to Coyle, McGhee, Mowbrey, McCarthy, ............etc. Interestingly, after the first three callers had breathlessly waved goodbye to wee Gordon and looked ahead to a better Sellik future, Bitter Martin interupted with, "I will not allow Radio Clyde to be accused of ignoring the other big story" and he played a 30 second recorded clip of Weir and Ferguson receiving the trophy. DJ was invited to say another few words, "to be honest, it could have gone either way". Then, it was back to ra Sellik. Andy Walker informed the listenership that, "no club in Scotland can match Celtic, they are the biggest club without doubt". Here is the new low, Bitter ran a 2 minute clip of ra Sellik's three in a row, himself, Nuremberg Hugh, and Guidi commentating on Lennon and McManus lifting Strachan titles one, two, and three. Seriously, this was North Korea broadcasting, yesterday did not happen, pasr green'n'grey glories are more important. They must be, because the vast majority of the show was allocated to their memories. Rangers have secured the title without having the Manager of the Year(he has just resigned), the Players' Player of the Year, and the Writers' Player of the Year, in their ranks. Listening to Snyde last evening, you begin to realise why this should occur. Radio Snyde, the epitome of Emperor's new clothes broadcasting.

There's a similarity here, with BBC Scotland's portrayal of Glenn loovens pernicious studding of Edu and Linesman Chambers decision making process reference Bougherra. BBC Scotland had it's proposed 5 minutes of old firm highlights on line for over 24 hours without portrayal or reference to Loovens assault. As soon as the incident was referred to the video review panel, the BBC hastily reinstated the footage in time for Monday night's Sportscene. On Saturday, at the death of Radio Snyde's broadcast of that day's action, Bitter Martin finished with, "I hear Mulgrew's red card will be rescinded, Bougherra's will stand, the Linesman will not change his mind". The word is that Chambers is one of the great unwashed in regular contact with the Lawwell on message media types. Basically, Chambers had spoken to one of them, from the officials room at Ibrox. It would appear Chambers insistance that Bougherra goes down for violent conduct was his undoing. Everyone agreed, Bougherra's action was NOT deliberate, thus cannot be violent conduct. It would appear that there is deliberate interference emanating from somewhere, not allowing the Yahoos to dictate the accepted/agreed line to be taken.

By far the worst 'zine for demonising and marginalising Bears, was an Aberdeen fanzine entitled, 'the Nothern Light'. A4 size, with lots of cartoons that habitually depicted Bears with wire coat hangers portruding from their heads. You see, in the land of Dolly, we are all failed abortions. It's almost 20 years since this rag was in it's pomp, but it's influence is everywhere in Scottish broadcast and print media. Phil Differ lifted screeds from the Nothern Light, ra Sellik View employed their main cartoonist, and it's the company bible at BBC Scotland. The P and J will continually(let's hope in perpetuity) use it as their preferred comfort blanket.

There is precedence. Remember Ricksen's kung foo challenge at Pittodrie? A lot, and I mean a helluva lot was made of Ricksen's change of direction after clearing the ball, to kick one of the Young brothers. Loovens does the exact same, he clears the ball, then changes intention to stud Edu on the knee. He should receive the same punishment as Ricksen.

After hitting the side netting, Plastic McGeady's visog is a picture of his parish priest commanding him to adopt the kneeling position and conduct some cheesy praying.

That t-shirt looks very similar to the type of thing on display in the window of the Legends shop in Stockwell Street. I have seen the Mr Bluenose one in the window display. The guy pairs t-shirts with the appropriate kilt, I wonder if he does, 'a right lazy bastard tartan'? It's a good sales pitch, buy a t-shirt for several quid, shell out a couple of hundred quid for the matching plaid.

The Herald's latest sales figure show a decrease to 59,500 daily. A decade ago, the Herald sold 120,000. I suspect the usual suspects, Donald Cowey(Sports Editor and former Editor of ra Sellik View) and Hugh MacDonald(Chief Sports Writer and former rc priest) have been ordered to instruct Darryl to throw the Huns a few crumbs of comfort. Let's see if we get the circulation back above 60,000?

Do I detect backtracking? John Robertson on BBC Radio Scotland last Saturday stating, "certain individuals in the media, elements of the Tartan Army, and the President of the SFA will all be happy with the bannings. The whole thing reeks of anti-Rangers sentiment". Yesterday, Craig Levein stating, "the story was over hyped by a vindictive newspaper". The latest News of the World revelation that Scott Brown also failed to make the 2pm stretching/swimming session(very interesting, as Radio snyde's anchor, Bitter Martin has continually run with Scott Brown was professional enough to make training whereas Ferguson and McGregore were incapable). A rancid pudding has been over-egged and poor Hamish day and daily waited impatiently to put his boot in. Hamish the Hater should be ignored and he can stick his act of contrition up his a-r-s-e.

Scotland on Sunday.

Tom English is a journo from the Republic of Ireland, he attempts to portray himself as modern and urbane. However, he is a product of his conditioning, an ardent Irish nationalist. I have long held the opinion that nationalism of any variety is almost always underpinned by a pernicious outlook. Oh, and he hates Rangers, particularly he hates Rangers supporters.

I watched this too and experienced a similar pleasant surprise. Did you note the state of the Maine Road pitch? Honestly, Ibrox was usually in a similar state after December. Reference the 1978 League Cup final, it remended me why I loved wee Doddy.

I suspect McAlpine's article will be ignored, the venom being spouted has reached a significant momentum. I do not condone Ferguson's or McGregor's behaviour, it's sheer stupidity to remain drinking in a public bar at 11am on a Sunday morning. However, the momentum on this story is being fueled by considerable hatred by the usual suspects. There is a clear attempt to divorce the Rangers skipper from the national team, despite others being involved. Both Ferguson and McGregor are being deliberately isolated. The usual suspects are again sitting extremely comfortably with their preferred prejudice.

There is precedence for this in the events of Five Go Mad in Denmark, September'75. After Scotland had defeated Denmark 1-0 in a Euro group game, Scotland's Skipper, Billy Bremner led 4 others on an all night bender in various bars, culminating in Bremner tipping a rum and coke over a Danish waitress. The other 4 were, Wullie Young, Arthur Graham, Pat McCluskey, and Joe Harper. Collectively, they became known as, 'the Copenhagen Five'. The SFA found the five players guilty of bring the game into serious disrepute and were banned from representing Scotland for life. Now, if the SFA decide to adhere to this precedence, then the other two players involved in this session should also face the music. Both Scott Brown and Steven Whittaker were involved too, I suggest they be referred to as, 'the Cameron House Four'. The current Scotland situation is a shambles, a national Manager with a serious drink problem is intent on hanging two players out to dry. Barry ferguson, both Rangers and national Captain, once again is at the centre of an affair that reflects badly on our club. The fall out from this will be long lasting. I listened to Radio Snyde last evening and it was clear the objective host of the show, Bitter Martin was aware of the affair. He asked Provo Provan and Darrell King their reaction to both Ferguson and Mcgregor being omitted. Provan and King were supportive of the players, but Bitter was intent in suggesting lifestyle and discipline reasons for non selection. Bitter Martin was crowing.

Graham Roberts first game for Rangers was a 2-0 victory over Dundee United at Ibrox, on 27th of December'86. He also played in the old firm victory(2-0) on the 2nd of January. The Motherwell game was a rearranged fixture, the original match having been postponed. I was on the terracing behind the goals, and Roberts shot screamed into the roof of the net. Everyone was discussing the distance, the consensus was 35 yards, although it was extremely difficult to judge from our position. The other talking point that night was Andy Walker coming on as a 'Well substitute. I am pleased to recall, he was roundly abused.

Given the Club's worsening finacial situation, I suspect any bid for almost any player, will be accepted. If the club are determined to promote the younger players into the positions vacated, then our current youth team left back, Wylde looks a decent prospect. I have seen him on 3 occasions these last few weeks and the lad has a good opportunity of making a living from the game. Whether he progresses to the required standard for our club depends on several factors. I think we will get the opportunity to find out. The current youth team right back, Darren Cole also looks a good prospect. It will be interesting to see if the club is willing to go with natual full backs, as opposed to converted centre backs? We have soldiered on for a considerable period with the latter.

Count me in. I think the last Youth Cup semi-final played at the Stadium, was '93/94. Arbroath arrived on a windy Spring evening with a considerable travelling support. A dozen coaches were parked behind the Broomloan Road stand. The noise level in the away end rose considerably when the mighty Red Lichties scored in the first minute and basked in the glory of leading a stunned Rangers, 1-0. The next 89 minutes saw the young Bears run in 6 goals without reply. Let's hope Saturday's match is as comfortable as a 6-1 victory.

Where to start with Anna Smith? In the early nineties, the Mirror Group decided they had had enough of the Daily Record being habitually referred to as, 'the Daily Ranger' by BBC Scotland's Comedy Unit team. A number of radio shows were transferred to TV, a Kick up the Eighties being the most successful. All the usual characters were present, Phil Differ, Elaine C Smith, Peter Capaldi, Elaine Collins, ......................etc Every script was lifted from the Sellik fanzine, 'Not the View'. The perception, and that is exactly what it was, a perception held by a number of denominational school teachers at a fanzine, grew to the point that Mirror Group activated divorce proceedings by appointing Anna Smith as Chief Reporter at the Daily Record. She brought a side kick along, Brian McCartney. Anna had been with the Coatbridge and Airdrie Advertisor, she worked for various Irish Republican papers under various guises, and was a member of Cardinal Winning's Media Advisory group. She lectured to seminarians on the dangers of the big, bad, proddy world. Her first big story was the Sunderland Riot, a true work of fiction, 16 arrests in a 15,000 travelling support. She filled the Record's front page with lies, including a timetable of violence that extended to vandalism to cars in towns over 20 miles away from Sunderland. It was a real scattergun approach determined to demonise and marginalise the Rangers support. Anna had one source, a local copper, a Chief Inspector who blamed the 'riot' on a group of Rangers supporting casuals called the ICS. Nope, I had never heard of them either, the Polis further articulated on TV that these three letters stood for 'Inter City Scots'. Yep, truly laughable, but the Record ran with it, and the on message Politicians had a hook to hang their prejudice. Anna had close contacts with another Chief Inspector, this time in Strathclyde, his name, Kevin Smith. Today, he is Chief Constable of Central region. Now, Kevin and Anna are NOT related, they do share common interests. Kevin's old man formed the Catholic Police Officers Guild. Anna received a few tips and was invited on to a number of police dawn raids. Thus, the Record's front page screamed four Rangers supporters had been arrested at 5am in Cambuslang, they were the Sunderland slashers. The next day, Sunderland Polis released these four unfortunates, without charge. The reasoning, none of them had ever been in Sunderland. Anna and the Record failed to mention their release, let alone put it on the front page. Another police tip, this time from Strathaven, hinted at the solving of the notorious Bible John murders. Anna took up the cause, front page of the Record showed the picture of a Stonehouse man, replete in Scots Guard uniform. We were informed that DNA would like this deceased chap to the Barrowland murders in the mid sixties. Of course, the Army picture was deliberate, the 'British' army being sinister and pejorative. After a few months of front page campaigning to have this poor chap's remains disinterred(against his surviving families' wishes), he was dug up, samples were taken, and sent for analysis. The front pages continued, always accompanied by that army photo. The tests proved negative, the Record told it's readership on page 7 in a couple of paragraphs, no front page splash, and the family quietly reburied their innocent relative. Kevin Smith moved to E Division and became Match Commander at Sellik Park. Anna was on another dawn operation, this time our brave Polis were protecting Glasgow City Council workies as they repainted Brigton kerb stones black. It was the morning of the 1999 Scottish Cup final and dem nasty Rangers supporters in Brigton had intimidated their non-Rangers supporting neighbours, by painting the kerb stones at the cross, red, white, and blue. Seriously, this was the Record front page! Finally, I should mention Anna's interest in the Orkney child sex abuse investigation. I had a mate who was a senior Solicitor involved in this, he flew from Edinburgh every Monday morning, returning Friday evening, for several months. He flagged up Anna and Brian McCartney arriving in situ'. Their particular interest was a child's testimony that her alleged abuser wore a cloak. It was pointed out a local Minister habitually wore a cloak around town. Front page splashes ensued, insider social workers wondering if this child had been the subject of ritual abuse, and a picture of a Minister wearing a cloak. After two weeks, said Minister was fully cleared of any involvement and Anna left the islands. It would appear the horror suffered by these children was not important, well not as important as nailing a Church of Scotland Minister during years of revelations about RC priests. After attempting to take on drug dealers and failing, Anna left the Record fearing for her personal safety. She bought a white walled cottage on the coast of Donegal and wrote a semi-biographical tome entitled, 'Spit in the Wind'. This was her second book, her first, an unofficial biography of Martin O'Neill bombed after MON slated it as lazy journalism of the worst example. There you go, we can all agree with MON, put it on the front page.

The events of March to June 1982 in the south Atlantic are officially known as, 'The Falklands Conflict'. War was never declared on either side, the Argentine military Junta were jackboot fascists to a man and were not signataries to the Articles of War or the Geneva Convention. I agree, victory in the Falklands Conflict preserved Thatcher's tenure at Number 10. Knot fell on his sword after the Conflict, but the Cabinet's decision to remove the icebreaker, HMS Endurance in a cost cutting exercise, sent out all the wrong messages. Thatcher took the glory but was remiss in her responsibilities in the months leading to March'82.

Spiers is the son of a Baptist Minister, thus it's probably an eventual connection. As we know, Spiers is reduced to appearing on the downmarket Radio Snyde. The days after the front page revelations of McCurry leading his congregation in singing praiseworthy lyrics to the melody of Simply the Best, saw objective host, Bitter Martin field calls on this off field instance. Keevins was unequivocal in his condemnation of McCurry's actions. He linked it directly to the date of the instance, the week after an old firm fixture which Rangers won, and called it, "an ill-thought out action". Further, Keevins continually referred to singing such a song in church as both, "strange and weird". The coup de gras was delivered by the always odious Terry O'Neil from Uddingston, Bitter allowed him on the phone-in to label McCurry, "the sinister Minister". Religeous tolerence is alive and kicking on Snyde? Well, did Spiers take an opportunity to set Keevins, Bitter, et al straight on matters Divinity? The answer is a resounding 'NO'. The son of the Manse, the graduate in Divinity and Theology from St Andrews, the church organist, the ...................................................... did not want to jeopardise his status as, '****** Baptist', bestowed on him by Keevins. Even on Saturday, Bitter was again reinforcing the legitimacy of Craig Levein's words, saying, "it's my favourite rant of all time". Bitter returns to Levein's actions that day on a most regular basis, it's an obvious comfort blanket to him.

Hartson has identified Rangers has no leadership, neither on, nor off the pitch. Thus, he gets to say what he wants to say, because he can. It's the path of least resistance. Hartson knows there will be no retribution. Of course, there's a huge market out there that wants to hear it delivered in such a manner. Whats his motivation? Five years at ra green'n'grey hoops? I don't think so, it's rejection, we did the arithmetic and put him back on the shelf. I prefer to remember Hartson running down south after his wife left him. She discovered he was enjoying an extra marital tryst with a denominational teacher from North Lanarkshire. Hartson had put her up in a flat in Glasgow Harbour. The wife arrived at the Happy Eater front door of ra Stade de Gadd on a Sunday morning, dumping several black bin liners and a set of golf clubs on the stairs. Amazingly, well given the emphasis placed on happy family life by denominational schools, the teacher kept her job. Rejection, it's a powerful motivation.

Lochee Juniors remain George Galloway's favourite team, .................................... err after Dundee United(because they used to be Dundee Hibernian), and his beloved Sellik(because they stole half the original Hibernian team), and AndyTown Armalites(never miss a Hibernian walk), ........................................make it up as you go along, George certainly continues to do so.